WTF

Rush Limbaugh: Dark Knight Rises Is Veiled Obama Attack on Mitt Romney (AUDIO)

By Rich Abdill Wed., Jul. 18 2012 at 2:46 PM
Categories: WTF
bane.jpeg
Hey guys! Look! It's Mitt Romney!
Conservatives of South Florida -- do not go see The Dark Knight Rises. It is a piece of liberal progressive Marxist propaganda, and it is all an elaborate scheme by Barack Obama to make you hate Mitt Romney.

So declareth West Palm's favorite genius, Rush Limbaugh, who first called the film The Dark Knight Lights Up:

"Do you know the name of the villain in this movie? Bane. The villain in The Dark Knight Rises is named Bane, B-a-n-e," Limbaugh said. "What is the name of the venture capital firm that Romney ran and around which there's now this make-believe controversy? Bain."

OH GOD. How could we have missed this?

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Mitt Romney, Rush Limbaugh, The Dark Knight Rises
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WTF

North Palm Beach Priest Accused of Stealing $895 Picture Frame Leaves Parish, Asks for "Prayers and Understanding"

By Victor Gonzalez Mon., Jul. 9 2012 at 11:37 AM
Categories: WTF, Weird News
SAVAIA.jpg
Sandwiched between "Thou shalt not commit adultery" and "Thou shalt not bear false witness" on one of two stone tablets allegedly presented to Moses on Mt. Sinai, God clearly listed "Thou shalt not steal" as one of the Ten Commandments.

For one Catholic priest in North Palm Beach, however, the warning was seemingly lost in translation.

Rev. Giuseppe Savaia has left St. Clare parish "to tend to personal duress" and clear his name as an alleged shoplifter, according to WPTV NewsChannel 5.

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Catholic Crime, Catholic Priest, Rev. Giuseppe Savaia
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WTF

Young Girl in Pigtails Robs Two Wilton Manors Businesses

By Victor Gonzalez Mon., Jul. 9 2012 at 9:08 AM
Categories: WTF
Screen shot 2012-07-09 at 9.21.19 AM.jpg
It's the old trick-'em-with-candy-and-steal-their-iPhone routine, a favorite among delinquent children and young girls in pigtails. And it happened twice last week in Wilton Manors.

According to the Sun-Sentinel, police are looking for two underaged perps who burglarized two separate businesses at gunpoint candypoint.

A boy and girl, "including one in pigtails,"walked into U.S.A. Auto Care Plus at 2630 N. Dixie Highway pretending to sell candy, but walked out with a white iPhone 4s that was left unattended by one of the store's employees.

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Candy Thieves, Crime, Underage Perps, Wilton Manors
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WTF

"Hallmark Kid" Ryan Lipner: No Sex From Russian Bride

By Stefan Kamph Mon., Jul. 9 2012 at 6:30 AM
Categories: WTF
ryan-lipner-wife.jpg
Courtesy Ryan Lipner
Lipner's been carrying this photo of his future-ex-wife in his wallet for months.
Previously: "The Rise and Fall of the Hallmark Kid," the run for president, and the suit for adult child support.

Eleven years ago, New Times writer Wyatt Olson crossed paths with Ryan Lipner, one of the nuttiest, most indiscriminately self-promoting individuals we've ever found in Broward and Palm Beach counties. Lipner had a childhood dream of running a Hallmark store, following in his dad's footsteps.

He later took over several stores in area malls, getting into disputes with mall management and Hallmark, which involved an $18 billion lawsuit. Since then, we've followed him through political campaigns and the start of a lawsuit against his estranged parents in which he sought permanent adult-child-support payments because of his bipolar disorder.

Now, Ryan Lipner wants to tell the rest of his story.

Starting with the fact that the hot Russian who married him for a green card refused to have sex with him.

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child support, divorce, Hallmark Kid, immigration, lawsuits, Ryan Lipner
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WTF

Coked-Up 14-Year-Old Found Emaciated in Flaming Deerfield Beach Mobile Home

By Rich Abdill Fri., Jul. 6 2012 at 10:52 AM
Categories: WTF
macdannald-mug.jpg
MacDannald
Quick parenting note: If your malnourished 14-year-old son does tons of drugs, don't let your trailer catch fire. The cops will find out about it, and get, like, so mad.

That's what happened Tuesday, when 47-year-old Darin MacDannald was arrested in Deerfield Beach on child cruelty charges. Police say his son, who weighed 85 pounds, was examined at Coral Springs Medical Center and found to have "unexplained red blotches" on his legs and "had pinpointed pupils and was... under the influence of some type of drug or drugs. A drug screen of [his] blood and urine tested positive for barbiturates, opiates, cocaine, and marijuana."

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Darin MacDannald
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WTF

Danielle Harkins Accused of Helping St. Petersburg Teens Exorcise Demons by Cutting Each Other

By Rich Abdill Wed., Jun. 13 2012 at 9:11 AM
Categories: WTF
danielle-harkins.jpg
via Google+
Harkins
A 35-year-old teacher from St. Petersburg's Lealman Asian Neighborhood Center was arrested yesterday on child-abuse charges after police say she convinced several teens to hurt each other to get rid of demons.

Danielle Harkins is accused of gathering seven kids around a campfire near the St. Petersburg Pier on Saturday evening, according to the St. Petersburg Times. Police say she then told a 17-year-old boy that "he needed to get rid of an evil tick," according to Bay News 9, and convinced another teen to help get rid of it by cutting the boy's back with a piece of broken glass.

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WTF

Photos of Rudy Eugene Miami Face-Eating Attack: Miami Herald Will Put One on Coffee Mug for $14.95 (Photos; NSFW)

By Rich Abdill Tue., May 29 2012 at 12:16 PM
Categories: WTF
rudy-eugene-mug.jpg
Rudy Eugene
Update 2, 5/31: A Maryland man was just arrested on charges that he ate a man's heart and brain.

Update, 5/31: Our order was canceled by the third-party company that handles the Herald's photo orders.

Original post, 5/29:
If you went anywhere near social media over the weekend, you've already heard about Rudy Eugene, the man police say took off all his clothes and ate the face of a homeless man in Miami on Saturday afternoon. When Eugene ignored a police officer telling him to stop, the officer shot him -- and Eugene kept eating, and reportedly growled at the officer, who then shot him again and killed him.

The homeless man lived, but his future is still uncertain.

The Miami Herald looks to have broken the original story, and it also has a photo of Eugene lying on the sidewalk after the shooting, which -- good news! -- you can purchase an 8x10 glossy of for $24.95. You can also put it on a coffee mug for $14.95 or a T-shirt for $21.95.
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Rudy Eugene
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Wild, Wild West

Allen West Says Tax on Tanning Salons Is Racist

By Rich Abdill Fri., Apr. 6 2012 at 9:00 AM
Categories: WTF, Wild, Wild West
really-tan-people.jpg
via Way2Tan.com
Victims of racism.
Congressman Allen West deserves some credit for holding an event at West Palm Beach's Century Village senior community Wednesday -- there aren't many indications he has too much support there, which was emphasized when the 1,200-seat auditorium had about 75 people in it, according to the Palm Beach Post.

But in addition to his usual talking points, the Post reports West also rehashed a complaint made on messageboards and comments sections more than two years ago:

"You want to talk about something that's really racist? They have a tanning tax," said West, who is African American. "I'm not tanning."
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Allen West, tanning
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WTF

Mark Oxner Releases New Ad; Alan Grayson Calls It "a Heaping Helping of Bonkers"; It Is

By Rich Abdill Wed., Apr. 4 2012 at 5:12 AM
Categories: Politics, If You Can Call It That, WTF
mark-oxner-new.png
Hint: It doesn't mean anything.
Last time we saw Florida Republican congressional candidate Mark Oxner, he was on the U.S.S. Obamaboat turning Democratic opponent Alan Grayson into a parrot and Barack Obama into the captain of a slave ship. He promised to make more ads, and he delivered, this time with one that he claims will be airing on Spanish-language channels.

Oxner, running in Florida's District 9, has seized upon a statement Grayson once made that he was proud that Democracy for America named him a "progressive hero." If you ask the dictionary what "progressive" means, it'll tell you "making use of or interested in new ideas, findings, or opportunities." If you ask Teddy Roosevelt, it's people "who, with fervor and broad sympathy and imagination, stand for the forward movement."

If you ask Oxner, he'll tell you something like, "You know who was a progressive? Hitler."
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Alan Grayson, Mark Oxner
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Crime

PBSO Would Really Like to Catch the Guy Robbing Burger Kings in a Barack Obama Mask

By Rich Abdill Tue., Mar. 27 2012 at 7:47 AM
Categories: Crime, WTF
obama-robber.jpg
PBSO
DO YOU KNOW THIS MAN?
​Somewhere in Palm Beach County, there is a man with red gloves, a Barack Obama mask, a silver handgun, and a pile of money that smells like French fries.

The Palm Beach County Sheriff's Office sent out another news release yesterday about the string of four fast-food robberies that started in December. The most recent was last Tuesday, when a man got away with about $400 he'd stolen from a Lake Park Burger King.

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