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Miami Won't Be Hosting Super Bowl L

By Chris Joseph
Charges Against Kaitlyn Hunt Won't Be Dropped

By Chris Joseph
Men Cannonball Onto Manatees, Post It On YouTube

By Chris Joseph
Hollywood Madam to the Stars Crashes & Burns...

By Terrence McCoy
Jason Leon Slays Giant Python Monster In Woods

By Terrence McCoy
Media Creates Fake Feud Between LeBron, Pacers...

By Chris Joseph
Chad Johnson Taken Into Custody For Probation...

By Chris Joseph
Florida Teen Expelled From School For Gay...

By Chris Joseph
National Enquirer Heir Arrested for Stalking

By Kyle Swenson
What's Rick Scott Gonna Veto?

By Terrence McCoy

WTF

Boca Raton Got Off Easy in Drinking Water Violation Settlement, Environmentalists Say

By Kyle Swenson Mon., May 6 2013 at 9:01 AM

Categories: WTF

Back in 2008, a former Boca Raton employee named Christine Ferrigan alerted government regulators about possible problems with the city's water department. Ferrigan claimed she was fired after raising concerns, and she filed a whistleblower suit.

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Last-Minute Christmas Shopping On South Florida's Craigslist

By Kyle Swenson Mon., Dec. 24 2012 at 9:15 AM

Categories: WTF

Hang tough. We'll get through this.

Well, it happened. You've crossed into the Red Zone. We know, we know, you meant to get around to it yesterday, but TNT threw on a back-to-back showing of the Lord of the Rings trilogy (extended cut) and you ate all those cookies. Now it's 9 am on Christmas Eve day and your bag of gifts is completely empty. If you want to avoid all those tears and angry looks coming from the other end of the dinner table on Christmas Day, you're going to have to act quick.

The options are limited. The mall? You kidding? At this point, with all the last-minuters already there, you need to put a Chernobyl-length distance between yourself and any shopping venue, for the sake of mental stability. Unfortunately, online outlets are also no help in this situation. Unless . . . you turn to Craigslist.

We decided to do the hard work for you, dipping into the vast, unedited, and endless live-stream of strange and weird offerings from South Florida natives. Some of these gems might be the best bet for saving Christmas.

Tags:

Christmas

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Mike Woika, Assistant City Manager of Boca, Says City's Water is Perfectly Potable

By Chris Sweeney Mon., Oct. 1 2012 at 5:00 AM

Categories: WTF

Chug Life

Mike Woika sounded dismayed, perplexed, and just a tad angry as he worked his way through our post from last week about Boca Raton's water supply and a recent Notice of Violation handed down by the Palm Beach County Health Department.

See also
-Boca Raton Utility Order to "Immediately" Fix Water Contamination Problems

Woika, assistant city manger, was adamant that not only is Boca's drinking water perfectly fine, but that Public Employees for Environmental Responsibility twisted the Health Department's words and exaggerated the violations to drum up hype.
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Tags:

Boca Raton, Mike Woika, PEER

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Boca Raton Utility Ordered to "Immediately" Fix Water Contamination Problems

By Chris Sweeney Wed., Sep. 26 2012 at 5:00 AM

Categories: WTF

Bad news, thirsty Boca residents.

The Palm Beach County Health Department has ordered the City of Boca Raton Utility Services Department to immediately address a host of long-standing problems that might be contaminating the city's drinking water with, well, remnants of poo and other unsavory ingredients found in wastewater.

Tags:

Boca Raton, Palm Beach Department of Health, Public Employees for Environmental Responsibility

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Tarra Coppola Tried To Assault Boyfriend with a Fishing Pole, According to Police

By Chris Joseph Fri., Aug. 3 2012 at 12:49 PM

Categories: WTF

Looks like Palm Bay cops may have foiled another possible Lorena Bobbitt situation (she's the lady that cut her husband's dong off and threw it out her car window into a field). 30-year old Tarra Coppola was taken into custody after allegedly chasing her boyfriend with a fishing pole and a knife in a mad frenzy.

Coppola turned out to be a regular Richard Kimble as cops had to use the Brevard County sheriff's helicopter and police dogs to find her after she fled.

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Tags:

Tarra Coppola

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Directors of Fort Lauderdale Airport Security Unlicensed; Company Ignored It, Investigators Say (UPDATED)

By Rich Abdill Tue., Jul. 31 2012 at 10:01 AM

Categories: WTF

FLL

Update, 3:15: Added comment from AlliedBarton.

See also: Broward County Admin Bertha Henry Doesn't Care if Airport Security Managers Are Licensed.

Two of the people in charge of security at both the Port Everglades Seaport and the Fort Lauderdale-Hollywood International Airport weren't even licensed Florida security guards -- and one of them, District Manager Anne Marie Cummings, was denied licenses on multiple occasions, according to a report released this morning by the Broward Office of the Inspector General.

Tags:

Anne Marie Cummings, Fort Lauderdale-Hollywood International Airport, Port Everglades

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Kenneth Bailey Roop, Cape Coral Lunatic, Executes Door-to-Door Salesman in Self-Defense

By Rich Abdill Mon., Jul. 30 2012 at 10:29 AM

Categories: WTF

The reason people are antsy about coming to Florida.

Good morning! Today New Times brings you a story making the rounds by merit of its own horrifying, senseless brutality. Last week, a 52-year-old man grabbed a gun and stood his ground right into the back of a door-to-door salesman's head.

The victim, 30-year-old Nick Rainey, worked for Blue Ribbon Steak and Seafood and had knocked on Roop's door, to no answer. OK, time to move on to the next house, right? NOPE. Because Kenneth Bailey Roop happened to pull up at that moment, and Roop is the mayor of Crazytown, and Roop shot Rainey in the shoulder. When Rainey fell to the ground, Roop shot him again in the back of the head.

Self-defense! Self-defense!

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Tags:

Kenneth Bailey Roop, Nick Rainey

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Inside Florida Puppeteer Robert Brown's Alleged Plans to Eat Children

By Rich Abdill Wed., Jul. 25 2012 at 8:07 AM

Categories: WTF

The eye is real; the hair, it appears, is quite fake.

Our Miami compatriots told you yesterday about Robert Brown, the Tampa children's entertainer arrested this week on charges he was planning on kidnapping a child to rape, murder, and eat him -- quite literally the stuff of nightmares.

He claims it was all just fantasy -- which, though it's unseemly, would not necessarily be against the law. But he was allegedly talking about a child he goes to church with, so the police scooped him up.

Now, we, the iron stomachs of the Pulp, have waded into the disgusting muck that is Brown's criminal complaint to bring you his fantasies as no other news outlet will -- that is, with all the gross stuff intact, because you are a grownup and can decide for yourself what horrifying public documents you expose yourself to.

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Tags:

Robert Brown

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Randy Pozdol, Broward Child Rape Pornographer, Presents Worst Defenses Ever

By Rich Abdill Tue., Jul. 24 2012 at 8:45 AM

Categories: WTF

Dania Beach 68-year-old Randy Jerome Pozdol was found guilty of drugging his girlfriend's two young children and filming himself having sex with them. He was in court yesterday for sentencing and presented a series of defenses that, believe it or not, actually made him seem even worse. The Miami Herald couldn't break it down into a list in their coverage of the hearing, but we can. Here are four of Pozdol's most offensive pleas for leniency.
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Tags:

Randy Pozdol

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George Zimmerman: It Was "God's Plan" for Me to Kill Trayvon Martin

By Rich Abdill Thu., Jul. 19 2012 at 7:25 AM

Categories: WTF

See also: Barbara Walters Ditches George Zimmerman Interview; "Appalled" By Demand.

Hey, guys! Did you know George Zimmerman was on Fox News last night? Yeah, it was in like, a living room or something, and Sean Hannity, who couldn't be bothered to put a tie on because it's only national television, was asking Zimmerman weird yes-or-no questions, to which Zimmerman was giving weird, yes-or-no answers.

Zimmerman elaborated when it counted, though, don't worry, and now we know that not only does Zimmerman not regret getting out of his car and following an innocent teen around a neighborhood or subsequently shooting him in the chest but that what happened that night was "all God's plan." Brilliant.