Photo by Ian Witlen

Yeah, it's fun here. Now leave!

​Maybe it's me, but spring break seems to be lasting an inordinately long time this year. Just when you think it's safe to walk around the block for a slice of pizza, you run smack into some spray-tanned co-ed in a wife beater, drinking green beer.

So for you, dear Juice readers, we've compiled an extremely unscientific list of places to avoid while the drunken hordes are still vacationing here. Feel free to add your own suggestions.

1) Hollywood North Beach Park. Getting a motor vehicle near the stretches of sand in this city is always tough, but last weekend the situation was comically bad. By noon onMore >>

TMZ

​Dolphins fans haven't seen moves like this from Chad Henne since... yeah, never. Nor is he usually that calm under pressure. Yes, NFL players are currently locked out, and even if that weren't the case, Henne's job would be in jeopardy. But the robotic one was spotted this week in the Bahamas, partying it up like, well, like a young man on spring break.

Unfortunately for Henne, there are photos, and they include him dancing around with two balloons stuffed into his shirt like fake boobs.
 
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​In a recent survey of the most dangerous spring break destinations in the country, Fort Lauderdale -- birthplace of the modern spring break -- didn't even crack the top ten. West Palm Beach ranked fifth and Miami was tenth.

The survey, conducted by the website lawyer website avvo.com, looked at crime and accident statistics as well as doctor and lawyer rankings in America's most popular spring break destinations.

Number one on the list is:More >>

via www.floridausaimages.com

​Yes, the Fort Lauderdale gets progressively more upscale every season, and  yes, the classy set tries to downplay the annually resurfacing celebration of Fort Liquordale's past, but it seems that as long as there are fraternities and the Elbo Room, there will be spring break, as evidenced in this 2008 New Times article, a worthwhile read for anyone who loves, hates, or is oddly fascinated by spring break culture. 

So take a moment to shake off your denial of the city's most sinful time of year, because a version of the same half-clad drunken co-ed debauchery is about to ensue. And if you think erring on the classy side will save you, remember, to walk from Las Olas to the W and the Ritz-Carlton, you must pass Elbo Room and Beach Place. There is no spring break ghetto -- we live in a highly integrated beach society, for better or worse. And in that spirit, we've compiled five essential survival strategies to help locals effectively cope. 


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