Nine Reasons Jacksonville Jaguars Fans Are the Worst

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Mate Airman Brad Garner via Wikipedia Commons

The 2014 Miami Dolphins season is well underway! And while lots of other sites will be breaking down each game and list reasons why the Dolphins will or won't win while analyzing players, coaches, and match-ups against their respective opponent week to week, we won't.
Not us. Not here. Instead, we're focusing on why every week's opponent has the worst fan base in all the NFL.

This week, the 3-3 Dolphins are set to play the Jaguars on Sunday at EverBank Field in Jacksonville.

See also: Nine Reasons Chicago Bears Fans Are the Worst

Here are nine reasons why Jaguars fans are the worst:

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Ten Reasons the Dolphins Will Win the AFC East

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photo by: Morgan Coleman
We sling a lot of poop at the Miami Dolphins around these parts. And for good reason. They suck. They tend to stuff all our Sundays, loyalties, and hope into a cannon and fire it into an active volcano like Xenu.

But screw that. We're going to forge ahead and -- perhaps against all sense and reason -- say that the Dolphins are actually going to not only get into the playoffs this year but win their division. Why? Because things just might be lining up to do so. Also, because screw it. Mostly, because screw it.

See also: Are Ryan Tannehill's Toe-Thumbs to Blame For His Struggles?

Now, the odds are against any of this happening. Bovada has the Dolphins' chances of winning the division at +900. And history is clearly against them. But here are ten reasons we think they'll take the AFC East:

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Ryan Tannehill Serves His Critics a STFU Sandwich With a Chicago Bears Beatdown

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Dolphins quarterback Ryan Tannehill stepped up against the Chicago Bears on Sunday and spoonfed everyone a giant heap of STFU with a brilliant 277-yard-passing, 48-yard-rushing, two-touchdown performance, leading Miami to a 27-14 victory.

Tannehill, who has had it rough as of late, dissected the Bears defense, completing 25 of 32 passes and using is legs to mash Chicago ass. Captain Toe-Thumbs hasn't been this sharp since week one against the Patriots, showing poise in the pocket and throwing accurate darts to his receivers.

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Nine Reasons Chicago Bears Fans Are the Worst

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Photo by HMJD02 via Wikipedia Commons
The 2014 Miami Dolphins season is well underway! And while lots of other sites will be breaking down each game and list reasons why the Dolphins will or won't win while analyzing players, coaches, and match-ups against their respective opponent week to week, we won't.

Not us. Not here. Instead, we're focusing on why every week's opponent has the worst fan base in all the NFL.

This week, the 2-3 Dolphins are set to play the Bears on Sunday at Soldier Field in Chicago.

See also: Nine Reasons Green Bay Packers Fans Are the Worst

Here are nine reasons why Bears fans are the worst:

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No One Showed Up for the Florida Panthers Game Last Night

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Photo by @theScore
The Florida Panthers apparently are a thing. And last night they had themselves an honest-to-goodness NHL hockey match at the BB&T Center in Broward. Unfortunately, not many people were aware of it because, according to the official tally, only 7,311 people showed up to the game.

So maybe it's because no one knew about it.

Or maybe it's because no one cares.

The previous lowest attendance for an NHL game was 10,063 in 2007 -- also set by the Panthers. So the Cats have made history. Twice. For the worst possible thing.

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Dolphins Get Beaten by Dan Marino Spike Play

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Midway through the second half of the Dolphins-Packers game Sunday, Fox color analyst John Lynch compared Aaron Rodgers to Fins legend Dan Marino. Lynch told viewers that Marino's release was the quickest he's ever seen but that Rodgers' release was right up there. Little did Lynch -- or any of us -- know that the Marino comparisons would not end there.

With the clock winding down and the Packers without any timeouts, Rodgers ripped a play right out of Marino's playbook and faked as if he were going to spike the ball to kill the clock.

The Dolphins defense, thinking this was going to be the case, relaxed a bit, and Rodgers was able to fool them and threw the ball to Davante Adams for a 12-yard gain. The very next play, Rodgers would reach into the Dolphins' collective chests and rip out their still-beating hearts like Mola Ram in Indiana Jones and Temple of Doom by throwing a dart to Andrew Quarless for the game-winning touchdown.


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Nine Reasons Green Bay Packers Fans Are the Worst

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photo: Mike Morbeck via Wikimedia Commons
The 2014 Miami Dolphins season is well underway! And while lots of other websites will be breaking down each game and listing reasons why the Dolphins will or won't win while analyzing players, coaches, and match-ups against their respective opponent week to week, we won't.

Not us. Not here. Instead, we're focusing on why every week's opponent has the worst fanbase in all of the NFL.

This week, the 2-2 Dolphins are set to play the Green Bay Packers on Sunday at SunLife Stadium.

See also: 9 Reasons Buffalo Bills Fans Are the Worst

Here are nine reasons why their fans are the worst:

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Video of Derrick Shelby's Encounter With Cops Released by Fort Lauderdale Police

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Fort Lauderale Police have released the raw footage shot outside of Cyn Nightclub that shows Miami Dolphins' defensive lineman Derrick Shelby's first run-in with police before getting arrested last Sunday morning.

According to a police report, Shelby was arrested when he refused to leave the club after being asked to several times by an officer.

Shelby is accused of touching women inappropriately without permission while hanging out at Cyn. He allegedly resisted police by blocking the entrance and exit of the nightclub and had to be tased several times before being detained. He was arrested and charged with resisting arrest and trespassing.

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Miami Dolphins' Derrick Shelby Was Touching Women Without Permission, According to Police Report

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Details have begun to emerge about Miami Dolphins' defensive lineman Derrick Shelby's arrest early Saturday morning.

According to a police report, Shelby was asked to leave Cyn Nightclub -- the Fort Lauderdale club formerly known as Off the Hookah -- after touching women without permission. He also resisted the responding officer by blocking the entrance and exit of the nightclub.

Monday morning, following their own investigation on the matter, the Dolphins announced they suspended Shelby indefinitely.

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Miami Dolphins' Derrick Shelby Arrested at Off the Hookah in Fort Lauderdale

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Via Broward Sheriff's Office
UPDATE: Shelby's police report revealed that he was kicked out of Off the Hookah for touching women without their permission. Fort Lauderdale Police have since released surveillance video of Shelby's encounter with the authorities.

Miami Dolphins defensive end Derrick Shelby was arrested early Saturday morning at Off the Hookah in Fort Lauderdale.

According to the Broward County Sheriff's Office, Shelby was charged with trespassing and resisting arrest without violence -- both misdemeanor charges -- after allegedly causing a disturbance at the nightclub.

Shelby's mug shot shows cuts and bruises covering his face. Daniel Rosenberg, Shelby's agent, alleges the injuries were caused by police.

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