'South Florida Power Rankings' Archives

Atkins-Grad Lives to See Another Day, Jordan Gets Hitched, LeBron Is LeBron

By Kyle Swenson Fri., Mar. 8 2013 at 7:37 AM

Categories: South Florida Power Rankings

The local personalities, egos, and public figures who swung through the news cycle this week, ranked by New Times' crack research department using a highly scientific algorithm. More »

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Loria Responds, Cabbies Suffer, FAU Imprisoned

By Kyle Swenson Fri., Mar. 1 2013 at 8:58 AM

Categories: South Florida Power Rankings

The local personalities, egos, and public figures who swung through the news cycle this week, ranked by New Times' crack research department using a highly scientific algorithm (i.e., calculating the mean number of these you can look at before getting misty).

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Rick Scott and Joe Abruzzo Challenge the NCAA to Arm Wrestling Match

By Kyle Swenson Fri., Feb. 22 2013 at 9:05 AM

Categories: South Florida Power Rankings

The local personalities, egos, and public figures who swung through the news cycle this week, ranked by New Times' crack research department using a highly scientific algorithm (i.e. picnic, lightening.)

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Marco Rubio and the Coffee Enema Couple Join Florida Tourism Board

By Kyle Swenson Fri., Feb. 15 2013 at 8:57 AM

Categories: South Florida Power Rankings

The local personalities, egos, and public figures who swung through the news cycle this week, ranked by New Times' crack research department using a highly scientific algorithm (i.e., darts, board, hangover-shaky hands.)

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Alex Collins' Mom and Mike Dee Start a Fake Twitter Account

By Kyle Swenson Fri., Feb. 8 2013 at 9:10 AM

Categories: South Florida Power Rankings

The local personalities, egos, and public figures who swung through the news cycle this week, ranked by New Times' crack research department using a highly scientific algorithm (i.e., taking the square root of the Sun Life Stadium upgrade price tag . . . err . . . which button is the square root? . . . what's a square root . . . ah, fuck it). More »

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Dan Marino, Rick Scott, and Donald Trump Perform a Dramatic Reading of New Times' Biogensis Story

By Kyle Swenson Fri., Feb. 1 2013 at 9:15 AM

Categories: South Florida Power Rankings

The local personalities, egos, and public figures who swung through the news cycle this week, ranked by New Times' crack research department using a highly scientific algorithm (i.e., charting where all those 18 shell casings fell on Las Olas, then comparing with a map of the zodiac).

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Carlos Gimenez, Al Lamberti, and Alligator Gods Conspire Against Duke Basketball

By Kyle Swenson Fri., Jan. 25 2013 at 11:20 AM

Categories: South Florida Power Rankings

The local personalities, egos, and public figures who swung through the news cycle this week, ranked by New Times' crack research department using a highly scientific algorithm. (i.e., "Is that a rhino in the Magic Eye? Can you see the rhino? No, not a kiwi, a rhino. Just give me the damned vaporizer again, then.")

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LeBron James, James Tracy, and a Muslim Cleric Walk Into an Appletini Bar

By Kyle Swenson Fri., Jan. 18 2013 at 9:20 AM

Categories: South Florida Power Rankings

The local personalities, egos, and public figures who swung through the news cycle this week, ranked by New Times' crack research department using a highly scientific algorithm (i.e., a statistical flow chart documenting which of your buddies' "girlfriends" you've actually seen in person).

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Tags:

fane lozman, izhar khan, James Tracy, Lebron james

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Power Rank Friday: DUI Busts, Crank Profs, and More Anus Tattoo, Please

By Kyle Swenson Fri., Jan. 11 2013 at 9:01 AM

Categories: South Florida Power Rankings

The local personalities, egos, and public figures who swung through the news cycle this week, ranked by New Times'
crack research department using a highly scientific algorithm (i.e., walking down South Beach last Monday night, calculating the ratio of weeping Irishmen compared with redneck testicles, multiplied to the Nth degree, twice.)

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Tags:

James Tracy, Maria Louise Del Rosario, Patricia Atkins-Grad, Scott Israel

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Power Rank Friday: A Wise Jurist, Drizzy Eats His YOLO, and the Sports Fans Among Us

By Kyle Swenson Fri., Jan. 4 2013 at 8:59 AM

Categories: South Florida Power Rankings

The local personalities, egos, and public figures who swung through the news cycle this week, ranked by New Times' crack research department using a highly scientific algorithm (i.e., charting the hip jiggles of the 4 p.m. early-bird dancers at King of Diamonds).

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