"Hey girl, I'll fix your healthcare problems with my magic hugs and kisses."

According to a report from the Kaiser Family Foundation, a voucher plan for Medicare -- like the one Mittington Romnom RoboRomney and his young ward P90Ryan are proposing -- would cost Florida patients more than $100 million.

But since the Mittbot is promising instant jobs to everyone as soon as he's elected president, WHY WORRY?

Of course, Velvet Thunder's campaign jumped on this report and was all, Mittbot's plan is no good! And Mittbot's people are crying that what Obama's peeps are saying about the report are lies.. all lies!

Now, before the comments get lit on fire with angry trolls and loud noises, know this: The Kaiser Family Foundation is not only nonpartisan but also well-respected when it comes to analyzing health-care policy. Also, its report is totally about Medicare vouchers similar to the one Mitt is proposing.

Oh, who are we kidding? FLAME ON!

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Things are not going so hot for one Mittington Willard Mitt Romnom Dog Torturer Mittbot RoboRomney Romney down here in Florida.

He's trailing in polls, and old people hate his running mate.

Ah! But guess who's back-back, back again? That's right. Betty Douglas -- Paul Ryan's Enthusiastically Waving Mother -- has returned to the place where she once got a few thousand rich old white people pretty darned excited about her boy and has been officially named chairwoman of Florida Seniors for Romney, which is apparently a thing.

Momma Ryan gonna make everything awwwwwright with Los Viejos.

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In case you've been trapped under something heavy, you already heard about how the replacement referees screwed the Packers on Monday night, when they awarded the Seahawks with a last-second touchdown that never happened.

Well, Paul Ryan was none too happy about it, being a Packers fan and all. He thinks it's time the NFL get the real referees back to work and get rid of these terrible replacement refs. And he said so during a stump speech yesterday.

Ryan also took the opportunity to get topical and decided to say that Obama is exactly like those replacement referees. Because of reasons!

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Hey girl, my love will make you see stars...

Paul Ryan was in Florida over the weekend and revealed that Obama has ruined space exploration, just like he's ruined everything else. And so Ryan announced bold new changes that he and Mittington will implement to get NASA back on track -- because America is the greatest nation in all of outer space!

"He has put the space program on a path where we're conceding our position as the unequivocal leader in space," Ryan said during a town hall meeting in Orlando.

RoboRomney & Ry also released a policy paper on their plans to build a Deathstar get NASA up and going again.

Of course, the Romney/Ryan space plan has no specifics on how exactly they plan to do this. But Obama is a space-hating Socialist Nazi Terrorist Coddler -- so that should be enough for you to be convinced.

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Master marathon runner Paul Ryan was in Tampa over the weekend where he jumped in on the President Obama Terrorist Coddling Weakness Apologizing Paloozafest 2012.

"If we project weakness, they come," Ryan said of those who would attack the United States. "If we are strong, our adversaries will not test us and our allies will respect us."

Seriously. Republicans do know Obama ordered Osama bin Ladin shot in the face with a giant machine gun, right? They do have the Internet, yes? They really need to look that up.

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See also: Paul Ryan Isn't Helping Mitt in Florida, Hasn't Actually Run the Numbers on Budget Plan; Paul Ryan Talks Medicare, Uses Mom as Mascot to Make His Point; Poll: Floridians Not Down With Paul Ryan's Medicare Plan; What's Really on Paul Ryan's iPod

After coming to Florida to introduce himself and his rambunctious mom to old people a few weeks ago, Paul Ryan came back last night. 

This time, he got onstage sans Mom and introduced himself to all of America, formally accepting the Republican Party's vice presidential nomination.

And, according to pundits and party leaders and his own state's delegates, Ry knocked it out of the park.

"Hey girl, you should see how I give speeches... in the bedroom."

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Nice guns, bro

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Paul Ryan Talks Medicare, Uses Mom As Mascot to Make His Point

He trotted out his mom like Sebastian the Ibis last week in front of thousands of retirees to tell them his Medicare plan is going to be a good thing, and that President Obama's plan will turn you over to a panel of bureaucrats who will then determine whether or not a person deserves to live.

But the Power of Momma Ryan -- as spry and excitable as she can be -- doesn't seem to be making a dent with Floridians, according to a new poll.

While RoboRomney's decision to go with Ryan as his Boy Wonder might have given him a micro-bump to cut Obama's lead in swing states in the latest Quinnipiac University/CBS News/New York Times poll, the same Floridians polled say they like Medicare just the way it is, and don't want it to turn into a voucher program, as Ryan's plan proposes.

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Paul Ryan made his campaign stop in Florida this weekend where he introduced his mom to a bunch of old rich retired white people to make his point that he won't take away their Medicare. 

The spry, enthusiastic 78-year old Betty Ryan Douglas trotted out on stage with her son and was all, I got no problems with my son's Medicare plan, so you shouldn't either because you're old like me! 

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Math? Pffft. LOLOLOLOL

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Paul Ryan Stays Away as Mitt Romney Hits Florida This Week

When Mitt Romney hit Florida earlier this week, his running mate, Paul Ryan, went to Iowa instead. The Romney campaign insisted that they just wanted to spread the wealth (haha -- see what we did there?) and get things cranking with RomRy hitting up different places at different times.

But the real reason might be because the campaign wanted to keep the lamestream media from changing the OBAMA WILL EAT YOUR LIVER WITH FAVA BEANS AND A NICE CHIANTI Republican narrative to Ryan's controversial Medicare proposals.

But the campaign is insisting that Ryan will talk Medicare when he visits Tampa this weekend for a fundraiser.
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