Best Internet Memes of Stitches, the Miami Rapper

Categories: Listy Lists

via Instagram
Stitches is a viral rapper, but he's also a human meme. When the video for "Brick in Yo Face" hit the internet this past April, it racked up 6 million views in six days. The rhyme slinger was quickly declared a sensation, but he wasn't without his fair share of detractors.

Adam, a 35-year-old insurance salesman, was one of them. Although the Miami dweller has a straight job, he's basically a professional troll. In 2010, he was part of TwitterGate -- a phenomenon covered by Gawker Media in which pranksters got Tea Partiers to post offensive things under duress. And then used the remarks as a smear tactic.

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Seven Spots Where David Beckham Could Build His Stadium in Broward County

Photo by Michael E. Miller
Miami-Dade has given David Beckham a hard time in finding a place for his new soccer stadium. So now the rumblings have begun: He and his investors are considering Broward County.

Some say it's an empty threat made only to pressure Miami.

But before anyone scoffs at the idea of Beckham's putting his soccer stadium in Broward (we're looking right at you, Miami), consider this: Broward has pretty much everything Beckham seems to be asking for (except for, you know, the name Miami).

Beckham has stated his desire to be on the water. And Broward has plenty of seaside and other waterside locations to be considered. Fort Lauderdale is known as the Venice of America, for crapsake! Not only that but Broward has space. Lots and lots of open space. Look around. In between the restaurants, beaches, and malls.

Space and water -- two things Miami can't seem to deliver.

And Broward leaders are apparently serious in trying to woo Beckham to look north. Broward Mayor Barbara Sharief has asked leaders to come up with lists of possible spots for Beckham to build his stadium.

But we've gone ahead and compiled our own list of seven locations he should consider.

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Six Most Underrated Places in Broward

Categories: Listy Lists

Photo by Ian Witlen
A couple of weeks ago, we told you about the horrible and sad places in Broward County.

Needless to say, we hit a nerve.

And that's cool. Many of you are proud of your home and got supermad that we had the audacity to bitch about how a drug store chain can be a soul-sucking eyesore.

But we also have plenty of love for our community. And we know we got a good thing here.

So, to counter all the bad places we talked about, we want to discuss the good things. We aren't focusing on the obvious stuff but rather the not-so-obvious -- the places that only true locals know about and appreciate.

Here now are the six most underrated places in Broward:

See also: The Six Worst Places in Broward

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Five Things South Florida Sports Fans Can Look Forward to Now That LeBron Has Left

Miami Heat's Instagram (@miamiheat).
Ever since LeBron James left, shit has been weird in South Florida. The mood, at first, was grateful and appreciative. That was nice. Necessary, even. Then we got defiant, and Cocky Heat Fan returned, celebrating in a loud way the return of a roster that we didn't like a whole lot sans LeBron over the past few years. Then we remembered this fact, and we got spiteful, Shabazz Napier getting caught doing what many fans did.

And now? Now we're really angry. You wanna see what we have to look forward to, 'Bron, now that you're in that dump Cleveland? 'Cause it ain't much.

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Five Ways to Get Over Your LeBron Heartbreak (According to a Clevelander)

Categories: Listy Lists

Craig Hatfield via Flickr cc
As your resident Clevelander living and working now in South Florida, let me just say that I'm glad this roller-coaster has finally hit the breaks. A couple weeks back, when someone told me LeBron might re-sign with the Cavs, I brushed it off as homer, pipe-dream BS. After one shirtless trainer's tweets, a Himalayan range of bullshit, and many nail-biter hours, the greatest basketball player of his generation is going home. Miami, I know you're heartbroken. I'm bummed, too - the Big Three were a special part of basketball history, and now they're done-zo. But back in 2010, I watched LeBron gut the city of Cleveland before a live TV audience, so I've eaten the whole buffet of LBJ related emotional damage. Here are some tips for getting through the long night ahead.

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Five Reasons LeBron Isn't Going to Cleveland (According to a Clevelander)

Categories: Listy Lists

Photo by Keith Allison via Flickr cc
LeBron is leaving Miami. LeBron is staying in Miami. LeBron is going to Cleveland. LeBron isn't going to Cleveland. LeBron is LeBron is LeBron is LeBron is . . .

This is a snapshot of the pretzeled thought process of your average hoops fan right now. It's nerve-smashing, torturous, and makes for great Sportscenter. Every burp and sneeze from every anonymous team exec and agent merits a headline or tweet. The latest: LeBron is in Las Vegas, where he's scheduled for a powwow with Pat Riley today. The clock tics on.

Yesterday, your humble servant here, a former longtime Cleveland resident, offered you five reasons LeBron was taking his talents back to Lake Erie. Now, allow me to scoot around to the other side of the table and tell you why LeBron isn't bound back to the Motherland.

See also: Five Reasons LeBron Is Going to Cleveland (According to a Clevelander)

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Eight Reasons Pam Bondi Is the Worst Attorney General in Florida History

Categories: Listy Lists

Thumbnail image for bondi-red.png
Rick Scott seems to be a big target when it comes to the majority of Floridians fed up with the way things are run down here.

Will that vitriol be enough to oust Scott in the election come November? Time (and the ballots) will tell.

But another key figure is also running for re-election come November. Someone who has done just as much damage to Florida as Scott has, albeit with a more pretty face.

Florida Attorney General Pam Bondi is flat-out the worst this state has ever seen, and she could very well win re-election due to people not knowing enough about her dirty deeds.

Here now are eight reasons why Pam Bondi is the worst AG Florida has ever had:

See also: Six Ways Rick Scott Has Screwed Florida

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Four Scenic Train Rides While You Wait For All Aboard Florida

Categories: Listy Lists, News

He giveth unto South Florida what he taketh away from our neighbors to the north. Although Rick Scott refused $2.4 billion federal stimulus money in 2011 that would have funded a bullet train between Orlando and Tampa, he was one of the biggest supporters of All Aboard Florida. Either our governor really likes his southernmost constituents or really dislikes Obama (Hint: it's the latter.)

But regardless of the reason: We're getting a privately owned high-speed rail, folks, and the plans for Fort Lauderdale's station will be unveiled later this morning. Artist's renderings show a futuristic, straight-out-of-Star-Wars building that will soon grace NW 2nd Ave. between Broward Blvd. and NW 4th St.

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Five Reasons LeBron Is Going to Cleveland (According to a Clevelander)

Categories: Listy Lists

Photo by Keith Allison
Well hell, this is getting out of hand. Miami megastar LeBron James is gargling over his free agency options, and us lugs are camping out on our duffs all day, sweating and refreshing Twitter every 30 seconds or so. And what makes it all worse, for those of us from Cleveland, is that we've been here before. Straight shot of deja vu.

Time-warp back to the summer of 2010, when the is-he-isn't-he about LeBron James and the Cleveland Cavaliers shaved a couple years off the life expectancy of most Ohio sports fans. Not only are Miami fans going through their own gut-grinding version of this anxiety now, but the same binary -- sunny South Beach or Rust Belt chic Cleve -- is again on the table, according to the sports media cycle. No one knows what's going to happen, or everyone knows what's going to happen. But rest assured, Heat fans. I'm here to brief you on the five reasons why LeBron will soon be boarding the bus back to Cavstown.

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The Six Worst Places in Broward

Categories: Listy Lists

Photo by Alex Markow
Broward County is a wonderful place. Let's just start out by saying that.

Beautiful beaches, amazing cuisine -- there's a reason tourism is a big business here. People want to come to Broward. Yay, Broward! You go, Broward!

OK, have we built Broward up enough yet? Yes? Good. Let's knock it down.

See also: 11 Ways to Be a Cheapskate in Fort Lauderdale

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