Lake Worth City Commissioner Andy Amoroso kisses a pig.

The rainy season is upon us, and snowbirds are fleeing fast. To honor the hard-working natives who slog through the summer to make South Florida great, the Pulp is compiling jokes about them. Feel free to add your own.

First up, you know you're from Lake Worth when...

10. The first person you talk to in the morning is the homeless guy who sleeps in the Cultural Plaza downtown.

9. Your city commissioner runs a shop that sells dildos.

8. You look down on anyone who has fewer than four tattoos.

7. Justin Bieber earns the wrath of your favorite barkeep.

6. Once a year, you walk outside to find people painting with chalk in the streets.

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Goodman and Tupac, out on bail.

UPDATE 5/18: Goodman was released from jail this morning and is now home in Wellington.

5/17: When polo mogul John Goodman goes home to Wellington to serve house arrest while appealing his conviction for DUI manslaughter, he will join a prestigious group of felons who had a similar luxury. As we noted yesterday, Boynton Beach femme fatale Dalia Dippolito is currently out on a $500,000 bond while appealing her conviction for solicitation to commit murder. But she's not alone:

Tom DeLay, longtime Republican congressman from Texas and former House Majority Leader, is currently out on bail while appealing his conviction for conspiracy and money laundering charges related to corporate campaign donations.

Former media mogul Conrad Black was temporarily released from prison while he
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​This week's New Times cover story, "Enemy of the State," details the dozen worst accomplishments from Gov. Rick Scott's first six months in office. Unsurprisingly, there were plenty of dirty deeds that didn't make the list. Here are a few of the highlights:

1. Following a property-tax-cutting proposal from Scott, the state Legislature sliced the budget of the South Florida Water Management District by 30 percent, or $128 million. Immediately, the agency charged with restoring the Everglades and coping with the region's terrible drought had to eliminate hundreds of jobs.

In June, 123 employees accepted buyouts, and at least 100 more are expected to be laid
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​Osama bin Laden is dead, and America is rejoicing. The al Qaeda leader was shot down by Navy Seals in a mansion near the Pakistani capital of Islamabad late Sunday night. This came almost ten years to the day that the official manhunt began, and many are crediting President Barack Obama with the success.More >>

Photo by Ian Witlen

Yeah, it's fun here. Now leave!

​Maybe it's me, but spring break seems to be lasting an inordinately long time this year. Just when you think it's safe to walk around the block for a slice of pizza, you run smack into some spray-tanned co-ed in a wife beater, drinking green beer.

So for you, dear Juice readers, we've compiled an extremely unscientific list of places to avoid while the drunken hordes are still vacationing here. Feel free to add your own suggestions.

1) Hollywood North Beach Park. Getting a motor vehicle near the stretches of sand in this city is always tough, but last weekend the situation was comically bad. By noon onMore >>

Flickr user: DeusXFlorida

Dude, how can you be sad?

​Here's a depressing thought to kick off your week: Every year, a Gallup poll asks American adults about their quality of life, then sorts the results by geographic area. The queries include things like, "Did you experience feelings of happiness during a lot of the day yesterday?" and "Are you satisfied or dissatisfied with your job or the work you do?"

Yesterday, the New York Times published a national map of the 2010 survey results. And lo and behold, Florida's 17th Congressional District -- stretching from Hollywood south to North Miami -- took the prize for the "most people who felt sad a lot during the previous day."*

Damn. So that sinking feeling in our guts is actually statistically significant? How can
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via www.someecards.com

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​Facebook now includes "Civil Union" and "Domestic Partnership" among its relationship status options. Since the genesis of the online "Relationship Status" in the early 2000s, the few and definite choices have fallen short of defining the ever-complex myriad of situations that could constitute a "relationship."

Yes, "It's complicated" has been a reliable catchall for any point on the scale ranging from hookup to marriage, but in this age of oversharing, "complicated" grossly shortchanges how much information can be conveyed in a succinct status.

Suggestions after the jump.

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