This.

​It wouldn't be fall without crisp air, pumpkin-spice-latte-sipping locals pretending they live somewhere that requires sweaters, an influx of Canadian license plates, and -- of course -- the annual warning from the Broward Sheriff's Office that if you're an idiot, maybe you shouldn't be deep-frying a turkey next Thursday.More >>

via Wikimedia Commons

If you're a young professional, you're allegedly happy here.

​If you're a young professional in Fort Lauderdale, you probably don't hate your life -- at least according to research done by a company called Career Bliss.

The company took surveys from a few thousand so-called young professionals -- which they're classifying as people with less than ten years in a full-time position -- and asked them to rate eight factors about their jobs.

After ranking the growth opportunities, compensation, benefits, work/life balance, career advancement, senior management, job security, and whether they would recommend their employer to others at their respective workplaces, the respondents would also rank how important each of those factors were to them.

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nmsu.edu

Fire. Everywhere.

​If you're standing idly in Florida right now, you have a 1.17 percent chance of being on fire.

That would be due to the fact that as of this morning, there are 380 active wildfires across the state, covering 405,461 acres.

We've also got a handy map from the Florida Division of Forestry that makes the state look like the eighth circle of hell:

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tvshows4all.com

​After getting a grand total of zero applications for the interim superintendent post, the Broward School District is searching nationwide for a permanent district chief when Jim Notter retires June 30.

Donnie Carter was appointed interim superintendent after nobody applied, and now they've hired consultants and are putting out a campaign to find someone to get suckered into accept the permanent post.

They've made fliers, a personality test, and a four-page job description to try to lure somebody in.

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Soon, an alternative to church?

​Right now, branches in the Broward County Library System don't open on Sunday -- the day when you're most likely to have nothing to do and want a book to read.

But that might change under a set of recommendations being issued by County Administrator Bertha Henry on Tuesday.

Henry's plan calls for bringing back Sunday hours to six regional libraries, among numerous other recommendations for changes to the library system and other agencies dependent on the general fund.

Library Director Robert Cannon says the idea was first aired More >>

Not on the list. Er, this is awkward.

​Attention, geography nerds, real-estate speculators, and government haters (that includes everyone, doesn't it?): You may soon be able to pick up a federally owned property on the cheap thanks to a new online listing service from the U.S. government.

Barack "I Killed Osama, Bitch" Obama is continuing his heroic odyssey with a bit of budget-cutting showmanship, listing "excess" federal properties online through the Civilian Property Realignment Board. There's also a snazzy poster.

There's a mess of 'em in Miami; we don't have too many here in Broward except forMore >>

​Well, what the hell did you expect? Last night, Charlie Sheen kicked off his "Violent Torpedo of Truth: Defeat Is Not an Option" tour in Detroit, and the show bombed. Really bombed. In half a decade of professional criticism, I've never seen nastier reviews. Nor have I ever been less surprised to see nasty reviews. (You can read one here, here, here, or here.)

Charlie Sheen -- why am I writing about him again? -- is either: a) far gone into serious self-medication, b) manic depressive, or c) both. I'm guessing "c." And there's not a single ticket-buying American who isn't aware that, while craziness/grandiosity/and/or/substance abuse can occasionally result in really transcendent performances, they more often result in utter shite.
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cnet.com

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​We all know the danger's of drinking and driving, but drinking and walking? More >>

​If pink flamingos framed against curiously striped orange suns cause you to immediately start scrounging your pockets for a dollar bill... then you're probably a redneck Floridian. As eponymous as the lotto symbol is to our din of sundrenched wealth, the Florida Lottery is actually struggling: Total sales for the fiscal year through June 2009 were $3.961 billion, down from $4.204 billion the year before, reports The Palm Beach Post. In reaction, the Lottery has hired marketing firm Ipsos-Reid to analyze its potential customer base -- i.e., you -- to see how to get more of those dollar bills out of your pockets.

In doing so, Ipsos-Reid has classified lotto players into six categories, which we promise we attempted to take seriously:

• Indifferent jackpot dabblers -- Mostly young and middle-aged women, the IJD plays only when the jackpot's big, kind of like in real life.
  

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