Rick Scott may have opened the door to what would be quite the dynamic duo of derpness at the top. Scott told a Tampa-area radio station that he would be cool with considering former Rep. Allen West as his next lieutenant governor.

Actually, Scott basically just gave a polite answer when asked about Col. Commie Hunter, but that didn't stop local Democrats from flipping their lid and demanding donations to stop West from filling the vacant seat.

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Florida Gov. Rick Scott and Texas Gov. Rick Perry brought their zany comedy-duo routine to the Palm Beach Strategic Forum at the Palm Beach County Convention Center on Monday when they both took the stage at the same time. It was like Lex Luthor and Montogmery Burns together in one room!

The Ricks spoke to roughly 400 or so people at a luncheon where they talked up GOPer things like cutting taxes and stuff for an international business gathering.

What a hoot!

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"I don't like people forcing other folks to do stuff they don't wanna do. Unless that people is me. NYAA!!"

Good news, everyone! Gov. Rick Scott says he's super-disappointed in Florida Atlantic University having a professor who had a "step on Jesus" exercise in his class that may or may not have gotten a student suspended.

See also:
- FAU Student Suspended for Not Stepping on Jesus
- FAU Apologizes for "Stomp Jesus" Exercise; Student Whistleblower Claims Victory

Rick Scott made his disapproval through a letter he signed, making it all very official.

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"I WILL have your pee in a cup. NYAA!!"

Rick Scott really, really, still very much wants people to pee into a cup randomly if he's going to give them financial help or let government workers keep getting a paycheck.

Last month, the 11th Circuit Court of Appeals in Atlanta unanimously ruled that an earlier ruling by a lower court to stop Scott's drug-test-all-the-welfare-people was all good.

Turns out, asking random people to pee in a cup for no reason whatsoever is kind of an invasion of privacy.

But on Friday, The Rick sent his lawyers to get the court to let them drug-test state workers.

Fine. No testing the poors. BUT I WILL HAVE SOMEONE'S PISS ON MY DESK, BY JOVE.

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"But I've been changing my mind about things! NYAA!"

Rick Scott continues to be unliked by many amounts of people, despite the fact that he's changed his mind about things like Medicaid expansion and despite adding more early voting days and declaring his love for Florida panthers.

The latest Quinnipiac University poll, released early Wednesday, shows that people ain't care about Gov. Voldemort and says that Scott would lose to not only Charlie Christ but Alex Sink as well.

Sick burn.

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Good news, Florida, you're number one in something that doesn't have to do with concealed weapons, or people who get arrested for shooting themselves in the penis!

The state announced on Monday that Florida has begun the new year with a 7.8 percent unemployment rate, which is the lowest since November 2008.

And this is a brand new rate that still has that new-rate smell!

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Today is International Women's Day! Yes, it's the one day of the year we allow the dames to come out of the kitchen or put the baby down so we can recognize them for all the lady things they do.

We love you, ladies. You're real swell.

But because it's enough already with asking to be paid the same salary as a man or be allowed to treat your body as you see fit, we present to you the top five Florida politicians who hate you:

Now get back in there and make me a steak!:

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"GET BIG GOVERNMENT OUT OUR LIVES! Unless you're a poor minority, of course. NYAA!!"

The 11th Circuit Court of Appeals in Atlanta unanimously ruled that a lower court's decision to halt the enforcement of Rick Scott's law that forced welfare recipients to take drug tests was good.

Back in May 2011, Scott signed into law a bill requiring that Florida's TANF welfare recipients pass a drug test. This led to the American Civil Liberties Union of Florida to call the bill an invasive, mandatory bodily-fluid search. 

A federal judge agreed that the bill was an invasion of privacy and personal dignity to thousands and a violation of the Fourth Amendment.

The 11th Circuit Court of Appeals said that Scott and the state failed to show that the drug testing plan was so critical that the Fourth Amendment should be pissed on (pun!).

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"I know. I don't even recognize myself anymore. NYAA!!"

Rick Scott, GOPer champion of Defiance Toward All Things Obummercare was not, would not, could not, wouldn't, under any circumstances, implement Medicaid if he had anything to say about it.

He said Medicaid wouldn't do anyone any good and even went so far as to give out botched math to prove his point that Medicaid was of the devil.

No way was he gonna change his mind about this one!

Oh, hey, guess what?

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"Congratulations on your delicious, er, I mean, PRECIOUS baby! NYAAA!!"

Having a baby is many things: wonderful, scary, exuberant, life-affirming, and life-changing. 

Rick Scott wants to add "creepy as shit" to that list.

Governor Voldemort has teamed up with Hallmark and several local hospitals to send cards to new moms with greetings, congratulations, and immunization advice.

Scott insists that this isn't about playing politics, or wanting to eat your new baby's soul pandering or anything like that. 

It's all about reminding moms that health is important, because that gets forgotten between all the pushing and pain and eating ice chips.

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