Children Branded by Florida Mom: She "Forgot How Much She Loved Fire"

Categories: Crime, WTFlorida

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Charlotte County Sheriff's Office
Everyone's seen the moms who treat their children like really high-maintenance pomeranians and drag them around shopping malls on leashes. That is, however sadly, a thing. What's definitely not a thing is branding your children with a hot stick like cattle. Nope. Not even a little bit.

That's what Port Charlotte authorities arrested 23-year-old Kayla Oxenham for, the Associated Press reported last night. According to the agency, the 5- and 7-year-old kids were promised ice cream if they would endure the abuse. It was, the medical assistant said, meant to mark the children as her own.

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Florida Psychic Burns 10 Grand Worth of Client's Money Instead of Refunding It

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A West Palm Beach psychic claims the $10,000 in cash a client had given her to pray over was burned up at a church altar.

The psychic, Sonya Gallego, was given cash after she promised the client that the money would be returned once it had been prayed over in a ceremony to cure the client of her troubles.

Turns out, the client's troubles only got worse, as the cash had not only vanished but Gallego then claimed it was burned up.

See also: Boca Raton Psychic Bilked Client for $100,000, Gambled It Away

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Fourteen Years in Jail for Using a Laser Pointer? Cops, FBI Are Cracking Down in Florida

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Wikimedia Commons, via 伯理璽天德
Apparently, laser pointers are huge problem for both local law enforcement and the FBI. Nope, not your high school physics teacher who just realized she had a red LED light on her forehead the entire time some smart-ass was asking when the class would be "learning about lasers." Not your cat that can never catch the dot dancing wildly across the kitchen tile. Actual, legitimate agents and cops are the ones raising the issue.

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U.S. Fish & Wildlife Sued Over Microscopic Ichetucknee Siltsnail

Categories: Crime, Environment

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Wikimedia Commons, via Ebyabe
In 2011, the Center for Biological Diversity struck a huge legal settlement with the U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service that meant the agency needed to decide whether to put 757 different animals on the endangered species list. They bragged, using animals that would pull at people's heartstrings, touting photos of critters like the American wolverine, the Mexican grey wolf, and the Pacific walrus on their website. You know, fauna clearly visible to the naked eye.

One of the first animals that needed to be decided on, though, was the Ichetucknee siltsnail -- thus named for its resemblance to a grain of sand.

The center's attorney, Jaclyn Lopez, conceded to the Associated Press that the snail was not "the most charismatic animal" but said the size of its entire habitat is about the size of your apartment's living room.

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Florida Man Known as "Fat Boy" Hides Drugs in Belly Fat

Categories: Crime, WTFlorida

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via Volusia County Sheriff's Office
Christopher Mitchells, AKA "Fat Boy," was arrested for hiding weed in his fat rolls.
When your nickname is "Fat Boy," you might as well, uh, roll with it.

Christopher Mitchell, a 450-pound Volusia County man, was pulled over for not wearing a seatbelt on Friday. Although he told officers he was too large to strap himself in, he and passenger Kethian Roberts were acting oddly uncomfortable, according to a police report.

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Stolen SUV Epidemic: Florida Has Second-Highest Theft Rate in U.S.

Categories: Crime

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Explorationofspace via wikimedia commons
And all the car thieves are like: "Oooooh, a Ford Escape."
South Floridians love their tricked-out, high-end rides, including those sport utility vehicles that are always hogging two spaces in the Publix parking lot. But more than anything, it looks like South Floridians like stealing SUVs, according to a new analysis released by the National Insurance Crime Bureau. The new numbers show that the incidents of SUV theft are rising across the Sunshine State.

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Five Strippers Arrested in Drug Raid at Boardwalk in Fort Lauderdale

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DEA.gov
When you're entering middle age and working at a strip club, you have to know that your window for gainful employment is quickly closing. It must be incredibly stressful to watch your money-making looks just slip through your fingers like so many particles of sand. But just because you're pushing 40 doesn't mean it's a great idea to double-down and push drugs as a side job to your dancing.

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James Herard, Dunkin' Donuts Killer, Gets Death Penalty Recommendation for Separate Murder

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A jury of six men and six women have recommended that James Herard, the former gang member convicted for the brutal 2008 Thanksgiving Day Dunkin' Donuts robbery in Tamarac, be sentenced to death.

Herard, 24, has already been sentenced to multiple counts of life imprisonment for the death of Kiem Huynh, a customer killed in that robbery.

But on Thursday, the same jury said Herard deserves the death penalty for the murder of a man in a separate, but equally brutal, incident.

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Broward Judge Ana Gardiner Disbarred by Florida Supreme Court

Categories: Crime

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Former embattled Broward Circuit Judge Ana Gardiner has been disbarred from practicing law by the Florida Supreme Court.

Back in 2008, New Times broke the story of Gardiner's improper sexual relationship with then-prosecutor and Assistant State Attorney Howard Scheinberg during a death penalty trial.

Gardiner and Scheinberg had both been working the Omar Loureiro murder trial, with Scheinberg as prosecuting attorney and Gardiner as judge of the case.

When confronted with the relationship, as well as the 949 phone calls and 471 text messages between the two, Gardiner lied under oath.

See also: Broward Judge Gardiner's Alleged Relationships With Defense Lawyers and Prosecutors Raises Troubling Questions

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Boynton Beach Police to Protest, Ask for City Manager's Resignation

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via Twitter
More than 50 Boynton Beach Police officers are protesting outside of City Hall before Tuesday afternoon's commission meeting, demanding that City Manager Lori LaVerriere resign.

The officers are protesting what they say are overdue raises. Negotiations for those raises have been a source of conflict for several months.

The officers' contracts expired back in September, and the union and the city have not been able to strike a new deal.

There had been an initial agreement on a 3 percent raise, but new conflicts arose on how those raises would be distributed.

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