Bad Ideas

Florida Man Butt-Dials 911; His Murder Plot Gets Accidentally Recorded

By Deirdra Funcheon Wed., May 22 2013 at 4:36 PM
Categories: Bad Ideas, Crime

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BSO
Scott Simon
This just in from the Broward Sheriff's Office:

At 6:41 a.m. on May 5, "a man who orchestrated a murder on Interstate 95 'pocket dialed' 911 just before [a] fatal shooting. On a recorded line, Scott Simon can be heard telling someone else that he's going to follow the victim home and kill him. Minutes later, 33-year-old Nicholas Walker was shot and killed while driving his car onto the highway."

The killing occurred at the on-ramp to I-95 at Commercial Boulevard in Oakland Park, near Fort Lauderdale.

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Bad Ideas

Download Porn in South Florida? You Might Be Getting Sued In Federal Court

By Kyle Swenson Mon., May 13 2013 at 9:32 AM
Categories: Bad Ideas

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memcenter.com
Your friend, naturally.
Let's say yo. . . err . . . no, your friend, happened to illegally download some porn over the last year or so. Now, your friend knew he was breaking the law when he did it. And sure, it's gross, but he was sad and cripplingly lonely and they had just installed high-speed Wi-Fi in his condo building. But your friend wasn't really hurting anyone, was he?

It turns out, uh, your buddy's illegal skin flick download might land him in Federal Court.

See also:
- Porn Companies "Blackmail" Illegal Downloaders


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Bad Ideas

Florida Man Threatens TV News Crew with Knife, Caught on Video

By Deirdra Funcheon Thu., May 9 2013 at 10:09 AM
Categories: Bad Ideas

paolino.jpg
Louis Paolino III
According to the news crews over at Channel 10, a reporting team was filming in the street outside of a private residence Tuesday night when a man -- since identified as 33-year-old Louis Dominic Paolino III -- came out of the house wielding a knife. He began slicing electric cords, smashing lightbulbs, and breaking equipment, and said a to cameraman, "Stop filming me or I'll slit your throat."

The cameraman, Shane Walker, responded, "Are you threatening me?"

Paolino said, "I'm promising you. I will rip that thing off your shoulder so quick and beat you down with it."

The incident was caught on video.

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Bad Ideas

Roy L. Boston: Dead and Abused Puppies in Belle Glade; Repeat Animal Abuser Charged

By Kyle Swenson Tue., Apr. 23 2013 at 9:00 AM
Categories: Animal Planet, Bad Ideas
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If the Palm Beach County Sheriff's Office has it right, Roy L. Boston is no friend to animals. Not only was the 44-year-old Belle Glades man rung up last year on animal cruelty charges but he's been at it again. Last week, law enforcement hit Boston with another round of violations. Unfortunately, this latest situation involved... yeah, we know; it's hard to say... a dead puppy.

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Bad Ideas

Boston Globe: No Suspect; No Unexploded Bombs

By Deirdra Funcheon Tue., Apr. 16 2013 at 9:03 AM
Categories: Bad Ideas
boston_skyline.jpg
Flickr / Samira Khan
The Boston skyline
As the city of Boston reels from yesterday's bombings at the Boston Marathon and the rest of the world wonders what the hell is wrong with people, police continue to look for a killer (or killers) whose atrocious act of violence did little than to terrify runners (runners of all people!), and murder at least three people, including an 8-year-old boy.

In the chaos yesterday, false rumors and news reports swirled. Some news outlets reports that a person of interest had been detained at the scene. The Boston Globe today reports that yes, a Saudi man who was seen running away from the blast was questioned, but he was a student in Boston who had been running in fear. The Globe confirmed that an apartment in the suburb of Revere was searched, but no other details were given regarding that situation.

The Globe debunked reports that police found additional bombs that failed to explode; however, the New York Times paraphrased an official who said there were four total. (Don't even get us started on the conspiracy theorists alleging this was a "false flag" attack by the government on its own people.) Officials are expected to hold a press conference with updates at 9:30 this morning.

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Bad Ideas

Killing Stray Cats With Tylenol Is "Humane," Audubon Writer Says

By Deirdra Funcheon Thu., Mar. 28 2013 at 7:30 AM
Categories: Bad Ideas
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Everybody has that neighbor (OK, some of you are that neighbor) whose heart bleeds for all the stray cats in the hood. Cat Lady or Cat Dude leaves paper bowls full of Meow Mix all over the sidewalks, and the scraggly, fiercely independent kitties go tomcatting all over town.

You might think your local Cat Lady is really sweet or maybe eccentric. But you know who really hates the Cat Lady? Bird lovers.

Nationwide, a massive fight is under way between cat lovers and bird lovers (who say wild cats are nonnatural predators threatening bird species and other critters). The battle has become especially heated in Florida, where pending legislation could affect the way feral cat colonies are managed. This month, the issue caused problems at two recognizable publications after an Audubon writer wrote a shocking op-ed in the Orlando Sentinel.

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NYPD "Cannibal Cop" Vs. Florida Puppeteer Who Wanted to Eat Kids

By Chris Sweeney Mon., Oct. 29 2012 at 6:00 AM
Categories: Bad Ideas
cookingwoman.jpeg
Muki's Kitchen
The Internet exploded with gruesome curiosity last week over news that Gilberto Valle, a New York police officer, was arrested for allegedly plotting to kidnap, cook and eat 100 women.

While not something we're proud to lay claim to, it must be noted that Florida is first when it comes to creeps vividly detailing their plans to kidnap and eat people. As reported on the Pulp this summer, cops arrested Tampa area puppeteer Robert Brown in July on charges of planning to kidnap, rape, murder and eat a child.

Are Valle and Brown really cannibalistic cretins intent on tasting flesh? Or could they be subscribers to a niche fetish built on violent sexual fantasies of devouring people? Let's break down the horrible, nightmare-inducing parallels between the two insatiable men.

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Tags:

Gilberto Valle, Robert Brown
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Bad Ideas

Synthetic Pot's Alleged Side Effects: Punching Cops, Eating Dogs and Slashing Throats

By Chris Sweeney Fri., Sep. 14 2012 at 6:00 AM
Categories: Bad Ideas
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See also "Fake-Pot Industry Comes Down From A Three-Year High"

The effects of synthetic cannabinoids on the human brain are not well understood. Yet people routinely smoke this stuff, sometimes called "synthetic pot."

This week's cover story on the subject describes the phenomenon, but a recently published article in the Cleveland Clinic Medical Journal adds that it is far more potent and dangerous than THC and can even trigger psychotic episodes.

So we dug up some reports of people doing sad, horrendous and truly bizarre things while allegedly under the influence. Here are eight notable examples:

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Tags:

Drug Enforcement Administration, K2, mr. nice guy, Spice, synthetic pot
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Bad Ideas

Prejudice for Dummies: A Translation of South Florida Chick-fil-A Supporters' Claims

By Rich Abdill Fri., Aug. 3 2012 at 1:33 PM
Categories: Bad Ideas
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Two loyally religious Chick-fil-A patrons.
A confession: On Wednesday, some New Times folk wanted to eat Chick-fil-A. Music Editor Liz Tracy and video guy Jake Katel stopped by a store in Pembroke Pines and discovered the hullaballoo around "Chick-fil-A Appreciation Day," in defense of Chick-fil-A President Dan Cathy's statement that Americans are "inviting God's judgment" in trying to expand marriage rights to the LGBT community.

Video camera in hand, they chatted with a few people, whom you can see talking in the video after the jump. Also provided for you: Some of their comments, with translations to help you see through the pseudo-constitutional balderdash they're blabbering about.

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Tags:

Chick-Fil-A, Pembroke Pines
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West Palm Man Rides Double-Decker Bicycle Down Dark Road, Dies

By Rich Abdill Tue., Jul. 31 2012 at 11:46 AM
Categories: Bad Ideas
double-decker-bike.jpeg
A double-decker bike.
Police say 30-year-old Brian T. Magan was riding a double-decker bicycle down Purdy Lane in West Palm Beach on Saturday night. He was wearing dark clothes and had his bike painted gray. He wasn't wearing a helmet, and his mutant bike didn't have reflectors.

And he got hit by a van.

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Tags:

West Palm Beach
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