Vitaly Zdorovetskiy, Infamous Boca Prankster, Streaks During World Cup Final; LeBron Tweets Video

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Did you even watch, bro?

During yesterday's World Cup Final -- Germany beat Argentina 1-0, by the way, if you've been in a dark room with nothing but good memories and your tears since LeBron James announced he was, you know, never mind -- a young man bolted onto the field, tried kissing a player, and lifted up his shirt deliriously before security dropped him.

LeBron even put up video of it on his Instagram account.

See also: Prankster Vitaly Zdorovetskiy Conquers YouTube With Borat-Style Videos

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All Aboard Florida Unveils Design Plans for Fort Lauderdale Station

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Courtesy of All Aboard Florida
Earlier today, Broward and Fort Lauderdale officials, All Aboard Florida reps and architects spoke about the upcoming passenger rail service. The original All Aboard plan called for service from Miami to Orlando, but the trains will stop only in Miami, Fort Lauderdale and West Palm Beach beginning in 2016.

"As we initiate this new service in South Florida," says Mike Reininger, the president and CEO of All Aboard Florida. "Fort Lauderdale quite literally stands in the center of all of it."

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Florida Man Known as "Fat Boy" Hides Drugs in Belly Fat

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via Volusia County Sheriff's Office
Christopher Mitchells, AKA "Fat Boy," was arrested for hiding weed in his fat rolls.
When your nickname is "Fat Boy," you might as well, uh, roll with it.

Christopher Mitchell, a 450-pound Volusia County man, was pulled over for not wearing a seatbelt on Friday. Although he told officers he was too large to strap himself in, he and passenger Kethian Roberts were acting oddly uncomfortable, according to a police report.

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Lil Terrio, Child Vine Star With Miami Manager, Signs to Hollywood Agency, Inks Reality Show Deal

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via Instagram
Herbert Battle, Terrio's manager, is pictured in the red shirt.
What else is there to say about Lil Terrio? Back in April, the 7-year-old Vine star filmed his debut music video outside of Grand Central Station in Miami. Since "Ooh Kill 'Em" dropped, the kid's social cachet has escalated dramatically. His upcoming album reportedly features Young Jeezy, Soulja Boy, and DJ Khaled, and his Instagram is a regular Rolodex of hip-hop's most recognizable faces. It's confusing enough to make a 20-year-old feel as if he belongs in a nursing home.

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Roy Sciacca Lets Down Celebrities, Hopefuls in Failed Reality Show

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Courtesy photo.
Roy Sciacca and Hazel Sobti in happier times.
Hazel Sobti dashes to center stage carrying a microphone pole, barely skirting a collision with another contestant. Two beautiful women follow her. As a guitarist in a Hawaiian shirt hams up "Rollin' on the River" for an audience bathed in blue light, the luminous beauty from India shimmies in a black dress and gold eye shadow. The three women rock their hips, belting out the song in the 2,000-seat theater at Church by the Glades in Coral Springs. Behind her, on a jumbotron, flashes the name of a reality-TV show: Recreating a Legend.

"This show gives me the chance to show my talent to the world," Sobti says in a later segment, flipping her long dark hair for the camera. "What better opportunity do I get than this?"

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Lil Terrio, Child Vine Star, Debuts Music Video to End Rap Music

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via YouTube
Every Memorial Day, thousands of people flock to South Beach for a celebration of hip-hop culture. But just before the weekend-long festival kicked off, rap kicked the bucket. Remember when you had to rap to be a rapper? Those days are officially over, even if none of the Urban Beach Week-end warriors seem to have noticed.

Lil Terrio, the seven-year-old Georgian who became famous on the video-looping service Vine, now has a music video. Shot outside of Grand Central nightclub in downtown Miami, "Ooh Kill Em" relies on all kinds of acrobatics and camera wizardry to play up the goofy move Terrio's known for.

See also: TerRio's Dance Blew Up the Internet, But What's It Doing to the Kid?

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Rick Scott's Ads Are Getting Weird

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Rick Scott has a baby, and he's not afraid to use it.
Over the years, we have come to expect weirdness from Rick Scott, just as we expect an egg from a chicken. And, just like the chicken, Scott always delivers, pulling things out of his ass that make us scratch our heads.

But even we are a little confused by some of Scott's most recent ads. It seems the governor has lost sight of what exactly makes a good ad.

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The Guy Who Wants to Marry His Computer Is Back With Another Insane Court Filing

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Jeff777BC via wikimediacommons
Baby, you look so nice tonight in that black plastic.
The world is filled with bitter little men who talk tough in legal filings, and Chris Sevier is a champ among them. Last month, the chronically annoying self-described "former Judge Advocate and combat veteran" tried to insert himself into a federal court case to see if Florida will acknowledge gay marriages performed elsewhere. His tongue-in-cheek argument: Damn, if we're going to let the gays marry, why can't I marry my "porn filled Apple computer?"

Judge Robert Hinkle rightfully flushed his request and ordered Sevier to go back to his porn stash while the adults discuss serious business. Sevier didn't like that. He particularly, it seems, didn't like that his request was called "satirical" and "removed from reality." This week he filed another motion with the court for reconsideration.

In the new filing, Sevier, who is a lawyer, rambles all over the place, discusses how Muslims had a hand in the Holocaust, defends the Duck Dynasty guy, and generally shoots his witless, mouth-foaming haterade in every possible direction.

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Gov. Rick Scott Could Sign Stupid "Anti-Sharia Law" Bill Because... America

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Matt57 via Wikimedia Commons
This past legislative session was a rare productive period for your usually fractious Florida lawmakers. Not only did the state's representatives pass meaningful legislation; they somehow managed to do so without going full tilt into the Red State shenanigans that usually make Florida a punch line on The Daily Show. Well... almost.

Among the first 58 pieces of legislation that were passed along to Rick Scott last Thursday was Senate Bill 386, a mundane-sounding piece on foreign law that's actually nothing more than a jingoist chest bump.

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"Pop-Tart Gun" Bill Allows Kids to Play With Fake Firearms in Florida Schools

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Photo by woodleywonderworks via Flickr Commons
In the late innings of the legislative session, your elected government representatives were a busy hive of activity. One of the bills that passed is another National Rifle Association liberty defense that makes it illegal for kids to be punished for playing with imaginary firearms in school. YEAH, GUNS!

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