Palm Beach Squatter Arrested: Father of Three Claims Adverse Possession of House in the Acreage

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Jason Friedman, a family man and father of three, saw Loki Boy, the 23-year-old Brazilian man that squatted into a $2.5 million mansion by means of "adverse possession" and apparently thought to himself, "Well now that looks like a fantastic idea!" and moved his family into an abandoned 3,400-square-foot home in the Acreage in Palm Beach under the same claim.

See also:
-Andre "Loki" Barbosa, Boca Raton Squatter: An Exclusive Look Inside the Mansion

Because basing major life decisions on this guy is a terrific way to go about raising a family.


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Fort Lauderdale Police Sponsoring "Etiquette and Purity for Girls" Presentation

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Gage Skidmore / Wikimedia Commons
What year is it? Just wondering, because the Fort Lauderdale Black Police Officer's [sic] Association, along with the City of Fort Lauderdale's Parks & Recreation Department, is sponsoring a program described as "Etiquette and Purity for Girls" as part of its annual Teen Summit this Friday, May 24.

From the Facebook page promoting the event: "This community outreach event will offer teenagers exciting and engaging presentations on topics such as Bullying, Life Skills, Etiquette and Purity for Girls, a Boys to Men session, and Police Interaction."


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Sun Sentinel Attempts To Explain Dwyane Wade's "Wacky" Fashion To Old People

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In a bit of cultural analysis that rivals that time they tried to explain beer bongs, our staid daily newspaper has run three -- count 'em -- three separate stories and videos wondering why those gosh darn crazy kids on the Miami Heat keep wearing all those "wacky" outfits.

To wit: "From bright-colored bow ties, to frames that would give Steve Urkel a run for his money, it's clear," the daily newspaper intoned on Tuesday. "The obnoxious fashion of the NBA is officially out of control, and it appears Dwyane Wade is leading the pack."

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Marina Lofts Development Approved, Rain Tree Not Even Considered at City Hall Meeting

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The city's Planning & Zoning Board met Wednesday night at Fort Lauderdale City Hall and recommended approval for the Marina Lofts development high-rise apartments proposed for near downtown Fort Lauderdale, without even considering the 100-year-old rain tree at the center of the controversy at the meeting.

See also:
- Water Taxi Employee Fired for Video Defending Rain Tree: "Tell Him to Stick It Up His Ass and Fire Me"
- Showdown at City Hall Tonight on Rain Tree and Marina Lofts Development

A city resolution that declared commissioners must consider the tree in any proposed development years ago, but that was evidently ignored at the City Hall meeting.

Commission will vote on it all at an undetermined later time. But things don't look good for the tree, and those seeking to save it.

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Rich Moms Hire "Disabled" Guides at Disney World So Their Kids Don't Have to Wait in Line

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So, thanks to this report, we may have located the world's most entitled human persons ever.

The report, published by the New York Post, says that some wealthy Manhattan moms visiting Disney World didn't want their precious pampered tykes to wait in long lines for rides like everyone else, so they hired themselves disabled people to pretend they're part of the family to allow them to cut to the head of the line.

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FAU's James Tracy Mistakenly Yells at Boston Globe Intern, Thinks She's a Reporter

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James Tracy calls up the Globe to FINALLY get some answers
James Tracy thinks journalists get a lot of things wrong. He thinks journalists mindlessly ingest whatever false narrative the U.S. government provides and plop it into the news inches as fact. He thinks journalism is corrupt. He thinks journalism is incompetent. He thinks journalism is weak.

But at least we don't make up people's names. (At least not regularly.)

See also:
- FAU's James Tracy on Boston Bombing: The Government Planned It
- James Tracy, FAU Professor, Says Sandy Didn't Happen; Revels In Notoriety

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Showdown at City Hall Tonight on Rain Tree and Marina Lofts Development

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Tonight, people who both support and oppose the Marina Lofts development proposed for near downtown Fort Lauderdale will meet for what promises to be a heated showdown in front of the Planning and Zoning Board. The board will make a recommendation to the City Commission, which will ultimately vote on whether to allow the project. Today's hearing will take place at 6:30 p.m. at Fort Lauderdale City Hall. Commenters will get three minutes to speak.

The project is big (two 36-story towers and one 25-story building with about 1,000 units), and its design is downright radical for Fort Lauderdale. The vision of hotshot Danish architect Bjarke Ingels, it has jagged walls, appearing as though the building has been ripped in half. Its developers proudly describe it as "a cross between a Rubik's Cube and Lego creation." The idea was to create a "cave" that would invite people to walk through the middle and come to the river, where one day, if you believe the developers, there could be farmers' markets, entertainment, and a pedestrian bridge across the water to Riverwalk.

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"Harlem Shake" Video Goes Horribly Wrong at Palm Beach Subway

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Subway's "Harlem Shake" video (Orlando Guapo in the cowboy hat)
Fuck you, Jared.

The Subway chain has a new advertising campaign -- the "Harlem Shake."

But unlike the unremitting charm of the Jared Campaign, the sandwich king just can't seem to get this one right. (Or at least a recent lawsuit alleges.)

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Charlie Crist Now Supports Gay Marriage

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Good question today.
Well, that's a bit of a flip-flop.

Charlie Crist, the former Republican-now-Democrat working overtime to make voters forget all about his past life, came out for marriage equality last night on his Facebook page. Right now it's political trendy for former gay marriage opponents ditch their old views, and anyone with a working frontal cortex can see the calculus behind Crist's new stance.

See also:
- Is Charlie Crist Florida's Next Governor?


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Eric Prokopi's Smuggled T-Rex Bones, Worth $1M, Returned to Mongolia

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Facebook
Prokopi hard at work on the dino bones.
There are crimes -- the sort we normally write about; stealing, killing, abusing, drug dealing, and drug abusing.

And then there are crimes. That's what Florida man Eric Prokopi was into. His misdeed involved stealing dinosaur fossils, smuggling them into the United States, and then selling them while managing his business everything-earth.com.

Late last year, he pleaded guilty to the federal charges. And now, his biggest score -- a $1 million skeleton of a Tyrannosaurus bataar -- is heading back whence it came: Mongolia.


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