Six Reasons Dan Marino Being Hired by the Miami Dolphins Is Great News
The big news over the weekend was that the Miami Dolphins have finally gone ahead and hired Hall of Fame quarterback and all-time Dolphin icon Dan Marino to a front-office job.
Photo by Chris Joseph
The actual title of the job is "special advisor." And while that can literally mean just about anything, all indications seem to be pointing to Marino being a figure head for ticket sales and community service -- not unlike what Alonzo Mourning does for the Miami Heat.
However, Marino will definitely serve as an adviser to owner Stephen Ross on football matters, which is the most important part of this whole endeavor. Because, up to this point, Ross has run the organization pretty much exactly like a couple of monkeys and a yo-yo would.
And, while back in February we personally advised Marino not to take any job with the Dolphins, we're kind of coming around on the idea.
And here are six reasons why:
6. He's the Face of Past Glories
Just look at that video. THAT'S a quarterback, damn it. And that's what's sorely been lacking around here. But because his knees have the same density as peanut brittle, Marino can't suit up right now. But he brings the next best thing: history.
Stephen Ross has always tried to look forward when it comes to the Dolphins. He's very much been about aesthetic more than substance, it would seem. Starting with the orange carpet and selling team stakes to B-list celebs all the the way through to the new revolting pseudo-pastiche uniforms and logo fans are now forced to stare at every Sunday -- Ross has forgotten what made the past Dolphins teams so great. Now, with Marino officially in the fold, we at least have some connection to when the Dolphins were pure unadulterated badass, as opposed to what they are now -- pure unadulterated ass.
5. He Brings Contrast to Mediocrity
The Dolphins have sucked for a long, long, long, long time. In fact, they've pretty much sucked from right around the time Marino retired. Sure, they had some decent teams here and there and made the playoffs a couple of times since he's been gone. But for the most part, the Dolphins have been mired in the football cesspool known as mediocrity for the better part of two decades now.
See also: Eight Types of Miami Dolphins Fans
While Marino's specific role is a bit ambiguous and quite possibly a figurehead position, the fact is, his presence alone even at 52 is far greater than anything the Dolphins have going for them in their front office or on the field. At the very least, his presence in the building might scare the shit out of players to be better.
Geee I hope Dan Marino is cool enough to get into this super exclusive smart peoples successful VIP club. pic.twitter.com/P3fKsk298z— Rizz (@Rizzmigizz) August 22, 2014