Charlie Crist Throws Extremely Republican "Party"

Categories: Politics

CristEmotion.jpg
Photo by Michele Eve Sandberg
Charlie Crist does not know the meaning of the word "party." I'm not just talking about his running for Governor as a Republican, and State Senator as an Independent and then, finally, for Governor again as a Democrat. Whatever. Switching things up is exciting. In contrast, his primary victory celebration last night at the Hyatt in Fort Lauderdale was mind-bogglingly boring.

First off, what was with the spread? All party-goers had to pick over was an array of cheese, a fan of Ritz crackers, a bowl of Craisins™ and some sad-looking vegetables. The booze didn't exactly flow, uh, liberally. By that we mean the cheapest cocktail was $8. Never trust a temperate man, and never trust a politician who forces people to be temperate by only serving prohibitively expensive drinks. Were you expecting hecklers?

See also: Charlie Crist Primary Victory Party at the Hyatt in Fort Lauderdale (Slideshow)

It's like, dude, you've raised $22,200,000 so far between campaign contributions, the state's funding-matching program and whatever your political committee, Charlie Crist for Florida has been able to collect from private donators. In contrast, your opponent only scrounged together less than a million.

But Nan Rich still had popcorn chicken at her campaign headquarters opening. People loved that shit. Not to mention the free wine. All of this is to say: Compared to your get-together, hers was practically a bacchanal. Given that she's a 72-year-old lady and you are a former fraternity president, that is sort of embarrassing. Would a keg have been so uncouth? Radishes and gouda does not a party make. Spend the political cheese on something non-dairy next time.

RothsteinCake.jpg
Photo by Michele Eve Sandberg
This cake had the most personality there.
But enough about the refreshments -- it's the people who make a party. Unless they don't. And between the aspiring politi-bros surfing Tinder and the nerdy Young Dems from Nova, it's a wonder that sparks weren't flying. Also shouts out to the abundance of older gentlemen there who didn't realize that telling young women to smile is obnoxious and sexist.

The only person who brightened the room that night was Crist himself. And that's because his skin is practically glowing. At about 9 p.m., he was introduced to about 200 guests as "Here Comes the Sun" blared from stage-side speakers. After about 35 minutes of expertly delivered rhetoric, the politician was whisked away from reporters through a backdoor.

See also: Broward Primary Election Results

Not that there would have been a point in asking the man questions anyway. Early this month, two Tampa Bay Times journalists put together the definitive profile on Crist. They asked him, among many other things, about a specific anecdote they had uncovered while reporting. Apparently in late 2007, the politician acted a fool during a South American trade mission -- drinking excessively and trashing a hotel room, the paper reported. He actually sounds kind of fun in that story.

But when those reporters asked Crist about the incident, he denied it. In the same interview, in Fort Lauderdale, he also denied ever having sex with a man. He also said he had very few friends and even fewer illegitimate children.

The man wouldn't even cop to smoking cigarettes. Basically, in other words, he's the most boring party guest ever. No surprise then that he doesn't know how to throw a fun one himself.

Charlie Crist, you're supposed to be a Democrat now. Stop acting like you're still a Republican.

Send your story tips to the author, Allie Conti.

Follow Allie Conti on Twitter: @allie_conti




Sponsor Content

My Voice Nation Help
10 comments
gavinbeaneyinu
gavinbeaneyinu

my buddy's mother makes $70 hourly on the laptop . She has been without work for 7 months but last month her paycheck was $14271 just working on the laptop for a few hours. visit their website........


➜➜➜➜➜➜➜ www.jobsaa.com­­

gabrielleprobbins
gabrielleprobbins

Start working at home with Google! It's by-far the best job I've had. Last Wednesday I got a brand new BMW since getting a check for $6474 this - 4 weeks past. I began this 8-months ago and immediately was bringing home at least $77 per hour. I work through this link, go to tech tab for work detail

----------------------> http://www.jobs700.com

bridgettrhart1
bridgettrhart1

Start working at home with Google! It's by-far the best job I've had. Last Wednesday I got a brand new BMW since getting a check for $6474 this - 4 weeks past. I began this 8-months ago and immediately was bringing home at least $77 per hour. I work through this link, go to tech tab for work detail

----------------------> http://www.jobs700.com

OrlandoChris
OrlandoChris

Come of Florida, take a stand.! Adrian Wyllie deserves my vote and yours too. He is a honest average Floridian just as you and I , that is willing to stand up and do something for the interest of all of us here in Florida. The other candidates both Republican and Democrat are owned and controlled by special interest, like puppets and will lie to your face to gain your vote, then continue the same old agenda that we complain about year after year. Time to get off this merry-go-round, election after election, thinking it will be any different. Take a stand, vote for the candidate that loves this state and is willing to take time out of his life, effort and money to SERVE the people of Florida and stop voting for these ‘paid for’ career politicians that are only out for money and fame and have zero interest in us Floridians. Even if it’s just for honesty alone, vote for Adrian Wyllie instead of the other two (Scott/Crist) which are proven liars. The choice is yours and yours alone, if you want the same old corruption and slap in the face, go ahead and vote for one of the two puppets (Scott/Crist) OR do what is right for our (yours and your children’s) future and vote for Adrian Wyllie. Support him by donating to his campaign, spreading the word and contribute to the super brochure program which I think is very powerful. Visit his website today.!

riverrat69
riverrat69 topcommenter

Why do you really think Charley ran as a Dem? He knows he wouldn't have been able to win the Repub primary running against Voldemort. He's still a Repub in Dem clothes. Now we really have two Repubs running for the same office. And the Dems are funding one of them. Only in FloriDUH.

mike3k
mike3k

@riverrat69 This is exactly why I left Florida. I'm too liberal to live there.

Now Trending

Miami Concert Tickets

Around The Web

From the Vault

 

Loading...