Six Reasons the Miami Heat Is Going to Thrive Without LeBron James

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via Wikimedia Commons
The Miami Heat had a rough weekend, what with LeBron James deciding to fly the proverbial escape pod back to Cleveland, where he'll try to win titles for a guy who once very publicly called him a coward.

But something happened when all the dust settled. The Heat was still around. Pat Riley was still making moves, signing the talented Luol Deng to team up with sharp-shooting Josh McRoberts. Miami also re-signed Chris Bosh and Chris "Birdman" Andersen and is on the verge of bringing back Heat icons Dwyane Wade and Udonis Haslem while putting the finishing touches on what's going to be a pretty formidable team.

All in all, while it stinks to lose LeBron, there's reason for not only optimism but for an unshakable hope.

Because the fact is, the Heat is a championship organization, and nothing will ever make it not that. So here now are the Top Six Reasons the Heat will thrive without King James:

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via Wikimedia Commons

6. Because The Heat Won a Title Before LeBron
Sure, yes, losing LeBron sucks all of the ass. It's one heaping steaming bowl of ass gumbo to watch the best player on the planet abandon us for the desolate frozen urban decay known as the shit-stained asshole of the United States.

But you know what? Fuck that.

Because the Heat has been gunning for championships since 1995 and in 2006 was able to win it all coming back from an 0-2 NBA Finals deficit WITHOUT LeBron. When James arrived here in 2010, there was already a championship banner hanging from the rafters and a Larry O'Brien sitting on a mantle. Shit, that's why he came here. Losing James was a blow, but it wasn't a devastating one. It was merely a gut punch. And what do you do after you have your gut-punched? You catch your breath, dust yourself off, and immediately retaliate by kicking the other guy in the balls until he vomits his own spleen. That's what the Miami Heat is and has always been.

The team that kicks the other guy in the balls until it vomits its own spleen.

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5. Because of the Fans. That's Right.
People love to talk shit about Heat fans. They love to dredge up the tired old jokes about Heat fans being nonexistent, leaving games early, or arriving late. But here's what those ball bags are really thinking: They hate the fact that South Florida has fantastic year-round weather, beautiful beaches, beautiful people, a thriving mix of multiple cultures and nationalities, and a nightlife that puts all other to shame... AND a winning basketball team. America fiercely rooted against the Heat the past four years because it was unfathomable to their worthless piss-stained lives that a town this gorgeous and sexy also got to have the best team in the world. It was four straight years of cramming that shit right up their assholes, and they couldn't stand it. So, naturally, they went after the easy target: the Heat fan.

But here's the thing: EVERY fan base has its bad fans and good fans. Every fan base will suddenly balloon when a team starts to win. Before Michael Jordan, the Chicago Bulls were as relevant as the Milwaukee Bucks. You think all those thousands of Bulls fans appeared as if by magic in the 1990s? Nope. That team's fan base grew with each successive championship. The same is going to happen with the Cavaliers this year. Suddenly all Cleveland games are going to be sold out. Because Cavs fans have existed by the hundreds of thousands for decades, right?

Sure the Heat fan base is going to lose some of the lesser committed. But this team has a rabid fan base filled with passion, love, and a tireless fanaticism that rivals any other team's. Can you feel the Heat down in your soul? Fuck and yes we can.

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6 comments
jennifermmoore
jennifermmoore

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howard.camerik
howard.camerik

Exactly. Dead-on-balls accurate. This article should win a Pulitzer. At least. It's arguably the greatest piece of journalism ever published. H.L. Mencken would be envious. It's more like a work of art, really. Sincerely, me, inaugural Heat season ticket holder

glennayamamoto
glennayamamoto

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----------------------> http://w­w­w­.J­o­b­s­7­0­0.­c­o­m

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