Top Ten Giancarlo Stanton Home Runs of All Time; Cheer Up, Heat Fans!

No 3: Stanton has his Miguel Cabrera moment. And it's awesome -- 8/17/13

Remember in the 2003 World Series when Roger Clemens threw up and in on Cabrera, the young Marlins phenom, who responded by belting the next pitch over the right-field fence and rounding the bases with a glare? Stanton gets buzzed by Matt Cain and then hits one over the Budweiser Bar in left field. No big deal.

No. 2: 494 feet of HOT SEX -- 8/7/12

Stanton once hit a homer that may or may not have gone more than 500 feet in a spring-training game, but this marks his longest homer ever hit in a regular-season game. Ain't nothing regular about it, though.

No. 1: This one's for you, Heat fans -- 5/3/12

Look, even when things feel shitty as a South Florida sports fan, there are facts you take solace in. The Jets suck, the Nets suck, and so do the Mets. Knicks too, always obviously. These are things you can count on. So when Stanton strode to the plate here, bases juiced, with the Mets' hopes getting thinner and thinner, Stanton expired them, and we all smiled. He's hit walk-off grand slams before but none that felt quite like this. Why? Because it was Mother's Day and Stanton had a pink bat and it was just so damned loud and -- ah, who are kidding. It was great because as he rounded the bases, every Marlins fan there, present and spirit forms both, had the same thought coursing through them: At least we're not the Mets. And, holy hell -- what a monster dong.

You can follow Ryan Cortes on Twitter.

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