Ten Fort Lauderdale Life Hacks
8. Don't ride a bike.
Photo by Dana Krangel
It's Sunday. It's beautiful out. Your girlfriend has been begging you to dust off those beach cruisers and take a romantic A1A ride for weeks. I know it's tempting.
But flash-forward a few hours.
Now your Instagram-worthy afternoon has taken a turn for the worse and you're pinned underneath a Nissan Maxima whose driver can't even spell "bike lane." There ain't no filter that'll make that compound fracture look sexy.
Riding a bike in Fort Lauderdale is just not a good idea. Even when you're surrounded by hundreds of other bikers like a bunch of scared mullet, you're still not safe. You could be biking inside a titanium sphere with a bubble wrap interior and that minivan behind you is still going to find a way to put you in the hospital.
7. Choose your Chipotle wisely.
Photo by Elvert Barnes via Flickr cc
There are four Chipotles in Fort Lauderdale. At three of these, you'll find the norm: friendly, meat-scooping folk, eager to assist you in your efforts to gnaw on some high-quality Mexican cuisine.
However, at one of these, you will find a different situation. There are no smiles, only scowls. Soulless eyes peer out from beneath puffy hats, mumbling in your direction.
You ask for rice, you get three grains. You ask for chicken, you get steak and an indignant glare when you point out their mistake.
There are no burritos made at this location, only shattered dreams and torment rolled into an improperly pressed tortilla.
Don't go to the Chipotle at 4850 N. Federal Highway, just south of Commercial Boulevard. Stay far, far away.
6. Victoria Park's stop signs are simply suggestions.
In Victoria Park, there's a stop sign every dozen feet, but you'd never know it. Because they get ignored like suggested serving sizes.
While Victoria Park can be a great little shortcut to get around Sunrise Boulevard and Federal Highway, drive with caution. Or you'll end up squished.