Spurs Hit Every Single Shot They Put Up as Heat Wilts in Game 3
Game 3 started and the San Antonio Spurs rained down swords and knives onto the Miami Heat for the crotch-punching 111-92 win at American Airlines Arena.
It was an onslaught from the beginning, as the Spurs hit 75 percent of their shots, obliterating NBA Finals records and taking a blowtorch to any momentum Miami may have gotten when it won Game 2.
It was historically awful for the Heat, and one game that has us all aching and sleep-deprived.
So to delve into the finer points, we present the Bad (and ooh, there were so many to choose from), and the Good, along with pictures we think capture our many moods as Heat fans today:
1. Mario Chalmers Is a Sack of Broiled Turds
Mario Chalmers has chosen the absolute worst time in his career to be BAD MARIO. In Game 3, at home, Rio scored a whopping two points on an 0-for-5 night that featured three turnovers and just four assists. Chalmers has had infuriating moments over the years, and it's always been forgivable because he'd hit a big three-pointer or make a key steal. But now his act simply isn't cute anymore, and starting him has become a light-your-crotch-on-fire situation.
We'd rather have cat piss shot into our eyes with a Super Soaker than see Erik Spoelstra go with Chalmers as the starting point guard again in this series.
2. Chris Bosh Can't Disappear
After two solid games, Bosh disappeared in Game 3. And while it's hard to find your way after being swallowed up in that San Antonio maelstrom, Bosh needs to not do that. In a series in which the Heat has to play near-perfect basketball, Bosh can't go nine points, three rebounds on our asses again. If this was the bad Bosh game, so be it.
But we're gonna need him to put on the big-boy dino pants for the rest of these games.