Ray Allen and Chris Bosh Combine Superpowers to Help Heat Take 2-0 Series Lead Over the Nets

Categories: Sports

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3. The Nets' Shaun Livingston Is That Annoying Guy Who Won't Let the Nets Die
Before every series begins, it's always fun to try to pinpoint which of the opponent's nonstar players is going to annoy the shit out of us by pulling jumpers out of his ass and making our collective asses pucker up like we just shoved a lemon up it. For the Nets, that guy is Shaun Livingston. Some would say it's probably Mirza Teletovic and his lethal Bosnian three-pointers. But Livingston is more exasperating. He hits jumpers, plays with energy, and has the kind of length that bothers people.

He also looks like he wears a zoot suit whenever he goes out.

Livingston scored 15 against the Heat, most of those points coming during a frustrating first half. Luckily, things slowed down for him, and he came back down to Earth.

He then hit up the South Beach clubs in his best zoot suit.

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4. Chris Bosh Is Quietly Bringing the Ruckus
Bosh was mostly invisible in the first half of Game 1. But since then, he's been the most consistent of the Big Three against a Nets team whose sole strategic maneuvering seems to be to drag these games down into the muck.

Bosh treated Game 2 like a velociraptor devouring its prey and then making a silly face at the camera. He hit threes, swatted shots, grabbed rebounds, and generally imposed his will upon all of New York like an angry Godzilla who demands a Frosty immediately.

Bosh finished the game with 18 points on 7-for-13 shooting and set the tone defensively in the first half. If not for Bosh letting out his dinoawesomeness, the Nets just might have pulled away in the first half and left us all feeling sad and pitiful today.


5. LeBron Is Undefeated Whenever His Team Takes a 2-0 Series Lead
Ever since he was demolishing NBA ass with Cleveland, LeBron has been a closer. The man has never lost a series when his team wins the first two games of said series, which speaks of his amazeballness as it does his ability to lay down some Old Testament-like justice upon his enemies without mercy.

With Cleveland, he was 6-0 when the Cavs took a 2-0 lead. With the Heat, he's also 6-0.

After Thursday night, the Heat are up on the Nets 2-0.

IT'S ALL RIGHT THERE IN THE MATH.

Game 3 is in New Jersey Brooklyn on Saturday. Tip-off is at 8 p.m.


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1 comments
winsomelosesome
winsomelosesome topcommenter

I'm with Barkley. Heat wins series 4-1.

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