Prompted by U.S. Supreme Court Ruling, Florida Satanist Wants to Open Meeting With Prayer

Categories: Politics

festivus_pole_2013.jpg
Chaz Stevens
It was only a matter of time, really.

On Monday, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled that government meetings are allowed to open with prayer -- even though currently in this country, the vast majority of such prayers are geared toward Christianity. The case was prompted in Greece, New York, where ministers are often invited to say opening words at public meetings. Of 120 meetings, only four opening prayers were non-Christian.

It only took four days since the court's ruling for a self-described Satanist to ask to open a meeting with a plea to his god.

Chaz Stevens, an activist and longtime annoyance to elected officials -- the same man who last Christmas successfully installed his "Festivus Pole" made of Pabst beer cans in the rotunda of the Florida State Capitol -- has written to the City of Deerfield Beach, asking that he be allowed to open a meeting with a Satanic prayer.

Asked about his change of religion, Stevens says, "At Christmas, I was a Pabstfestidian. It's legitimate -- it's based in as much reality as the Catholics. But unlike Catholic priests, we don't rape little boys."

He said he converted to Satanism because "Satan is a cool dude. Think of all the people he's in charge of. Do you want to be stuck listening to harp music in the afterlife? Hell no. I want to drink beer and hang with hookers."

In all seriousness, he says, "I just want equal billing. We allow various religious nutjobs to give a prayer. They pray to Jesus, who is make-believe; God, who is make-believe; why not Satan, who is make-believe? Why discriminate against one make-believe god over another? Satan and I are being circumvented. The City of Deerfield Beach has once again declared war on religion -- and this time it's Satanism."

City attorney Andrew Maurodis had no comment yesterday afternoon.

Here's the full text of Stevens' letter:

Dear City of Deerfield Beach;

With the recent US Supreme Court ruling allowing "prayer before Commission meetings" and seeking the rights granted to others, I hereby am requesting I be allowed to open a Commission meeting praying for my God, my divine spirit, my Dude in Charge.

Be advised, I am a Satanist.

Let me know when this is good for you.

Besties

Chaz Stevens, Calling in from Ring 6 of Dante's Inferno

Email: Deirdra.Funcheon@BrowardPalmBeach.com






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66 comments
Jbubs
Jbubs

"Well, my God can beat your God!"

Shawn Weaver
Shawn Weaver

This guy probably got picked last for kickball as a kid...now everyone has to pay for it .for the rest of his life...

KennyPowersII
KennyPowersII topcommenter

I have heard some of those opening "prayers". The ones where they ask for the wisdom to make wise and fair decisions. How's that working out komissars?

KennyPowersII
KennyPowersII topcommenter

Chaz Stevens plagiarized. The following is lifted from a comedian Jim Jeffries stand up bit.


""Satan is a cool dude. Think of all the people he's in charge of. Do you want to be stuck listening to harp music in the afterlife? Hell no. I want to drink beer and hang with hookers." 

Give credit. 

DonkeyHotay
DonkeyHotay topcommenter

Everyone who would not seek the Lord, the God of Israel, was to be Put to Death, whether small or great, whether man or woman.

-- 2 Chronicles 15:12-13

Dan K. Alexander
Dan K. Alexander

Why should the city counsel get to serve Satan without praising him?

whateveryousay
whateveryousay topcommenter

All hail Drakmar!  Drakmar will devour the souls of all. All hail Drakmar!

The meeting may commence.


Jonesy
Jonesy

Mr. Stevens:

If you truly are a Satanist, you would know that we have no need for such public spectacles. We prefer to effect change from behind the scenes, like the puppet master, operating in an almost Orwellian manner. Anton LaVey codified Satanism to champion individualism, not grandiose public displays. I agree that government proceedings-be they national, state or regional-should be free of any kind of religious influence. But tilting windmills in this fashion-even with the intention of poking fun, which I feel is the point of this exercise- will only engender Judeo/Islamic/Christians to gain an even tighter hold on the reins, but giving them something tangible to use to cause fear in an already moronic public.

Please don't drag Satanism with you like some kind of Sancho Panza. We don't want to go with you.

Citizen Jonesy
Member, Church of Satan

I do not speak for the Church of Satan, but only as a Satanist who happens to belong to the organization. I am not a representative. Contact for official representatives can be found at http://www.churchofsatan.com/

John Hall
John Hall

I agree with this I hope I know when does it so I can be there to cheer him on, I hate all this religion bullshit be forced on us

ChazStevensGenius
ChazStevensGenius

Here's a letter I just wrote to the City of Deerfield Beach:


Mr. City Attorney;

Hail Satan!

As you know, I’m in the process of opening a church here in Deerfield Beach … albeit it won’t be a huge money making endeavor like the Catholics, but on the flip side (pun!), we won’t be bending little boys over the altar and sodomizing ‘em.

#PraiseJesus

In a turn of good fortune, there are now some who are questioning my faith, and to them I say, who cares what I believe, or what I don't believe? If, for a moment, I say I believe in Satan, then who is to tell me any different?

If you still mock that belief, I say oh hell yeah, NOW YOU GET IT!

But don't get pissed when I use that EXACT SAME approach knocking your own belief system.

THAT IS THE WHOLE POINT OF THIS EXERCISE.
   
In the end, I do not intend to sway the beliefs of many of you, nor even budge them - I know this to be an impossibility, for if the religious mind is well-trained at anything, it is circumventing rational argument. I only intend to sew seeds of doubt, in the hopes that perhaps some of you will nurture them and let them grow.  

You see, I choose Satan, like I choose the PBR Festivus Pole, so we could start an intelligent conversation about the need to solidify, to enhance, to protect our long standing tradition of keeping religion out of government.

This gag has now worked twice ... we're talking, but many are still blathering about incessantly.

The Supreme Court got this wrong. Not the first time (think back in the 1890s when they made separate but equal the law of the land).

Finally ... here's a sample prayer one could use to open up a Commission meeting:

AVE SATANA!
Hail, Satan,
Lord of Darkness,
King of Hell,
Ruler of the Earth,
God of this World!

God Who invites us to become as gods!
Muse of our civilization,
Dread Enemy of its tyrant god!
Satan, mighty Liberator,
Bearer of true Light!

God of our flesh,
God of our minds,
God of our innermost Will!

O mighty Lord Satan,
teach us to become strong and wise!
Teach us to vanquish the enemies
of our freedom and well-being!

REGE SATANA!

yogaaddict4life
yogaaddict4life

Yet again another example of people getting hung up on technicalities. The point is your church (whatever it may be doesn't belong in my state legislation process)....keep it out or show religious tolerance. This is not a right or left wing issue unless you're an obtuse moron. I am not an atheist, which doesn't matter, but I agree with Mr. Stevens.

God1
God1

That's the best part of being an atheist. You can laugh at all the fools afraid of fake ass invisible demons too. LOL

crew26057
crew26057

It was bound to happen and it was made for Florida.  Carl Hiaasen doesn't write fiction.  Too funny.

ChazStevensGenius
ChazStevensGenius

What many people, especially the religious whack-a-doodles don't get ... so I will type slowly and explain, is, at heart, there's a serious issue worth chatting about.

I am an atheist, who's also carried an ACLU card for nearly three decades. I believe in the separation of church and State. I also mercilessly mock those who believe in any form of a higher power.

With the PBR Festivus Pole, and now this nonsense, I've taken somewhat bizarre/extreme actions to call attention to an important Constitutional issue.

Twice now, I've gotten the conversation started --- nationally and internationally.

How's your activism going these days?

MyActsOfSedition.com

AesopsRetreat_Com
AesopsRetreat_Com

None of this ever happened until the Left decided to challenge the entire concept of God with their Non-Existent "Separation of Church and State."  Now the Left is posting articles insinuating this is all the fault of Christianity in America.

Need I say it again?    More proof how everything the Left touches - they ruin.

smdrpepper
smdrpepper

Oh, I needed that laugh..

Now lets see this spread nation wide.  They wanted to bring mythology into government, lets see if they stick with that little freedom of religion bit.

Dan K. Alexander
Dan K. Alexander

Chaz, if you're reading this, my name is Dan and I live in Deerfield Beach. I don't drink Pabst any more (GMOs), but we can crack a few Heinekens and talk about how Satan has been misrepresented in modern culture. I might even let you borrow my book that tells all about it. You could REALLY piss off some people with the knowledge in this read. Think about it.

ChazStevensGenius
ChazStevensGenius

You sooooo miss the point.


I don't need the publicity.  I've been on Colbert and The Daily Show (thanks @funchey1)!

This is about calling attention to a ridiculous ruling.

jtcyclones
jtcyclones

Yup the Christians praying in public are all loser publicity hounds. Good call.


brucew
brucew

@ChazStevensGenius  Chaz , I think it's time to convert to Pastafarianism for a week or two.  We have great spaghetti dinners!

Ramen.

godless_whore
godless_whore

@AesopsRetreat_Com The "concept of god" is a childhood fantasy that most people outgrow when they figure out Santa is a lie. Too bad you missed the boat. STFU germ, and hide under the blanket.


kmartp
kmartp

@AesopsRetreat_Com  Uh, yeah.  Lefties like Jefferson.  Note, I'm Christian.  I side with Jefferson.  I don't want the State in my Church.  It goes both ways, and I'm fine with that.  Invite your faith into the State, and expect the favor to be returned.  Mark 6:24, baby.  Read it.

arc99
arc99

@AesopsRetreat_Com  well it is the fault of Christians who insisted that prayer be a part of government meetings.    clearly, they were oblivious to the fact that if Christian prayer is allowed, then ALL prayer must be allowed in order to avoid violation of the first amendment.


need I say it again?  right wingers rant loudest about the US Constitution and consistently demonstrate they have no clue what it actually says. 

glillo1965
glillo1965

Quote by Dan K: Chaz: " but we can crack a few Heinekens and talk about how Satan has been misrepresented in modern culture. I might even let you borrow my book that tells all about it. You could REALLY piss off some people with the knowledge in this read. Think about it."

Dan,  Chaz Stevens could care less about what you believe. Don't be so Naive to fall for his rubbish, that he has actually gone from being a self-professed atheist to a believer in a spiritual being. He's not interested in equal representation of prayer. What he really wants here is to get rid of it period. This is little more than a game on his part to try and accomplish that. The tactic he's using is not exactly new. Stevens knows that if he can generate enough chaos, there is a good chance they will simply say the heck with it and not engage in prayer at all. If that happens then his mission will be accomplished.

GrizzlyRepublic
GrizzlyRepublic

Kind of ironic talking about misrepresentations in modern culture and at the same time being anti-GMO...

DonkeyHotay
DonkeyHotay topcommenter

@randiebobandy


Behold the Religion of Peace!


Anyone arrogant enough to reject the verdict of the judge or of the priest who represents the LORD your God must be Put to Death. 

-- Deuteronomy 17:12


Obey Your God!

kmartp
kmartp

@arc99 @AesopsRetreat_Com  What you're missing is that not only have they not read the Constitution (apparently they carry it around and hope to understand it through osmosis)....but they haven't read the Christian bible.  Mark 6:24; basically, don't shit where you eat.  Matthew 6:6, keep it to yourself; It is a personal relationship.  

ChazStevensGenius
ChazStevensGenius

@glillo1965 Actually ... it was only a matter of time ... You keep shoving your religion down our throats ... don't be surprised someone puked on you.

DonkeyHotay
DonkeyHotay topcommenter

@patches @DonkeyHotay @randiebobandy  


When a man sells his daughter as a slave, she will not be freed at the end of six years as the men are.  If she does not please the man who bought her, he may allow her to be bought back again.  But he is not allowed to sell her to foreigners, since he is the one who broke the contract with her.  And if the slave girl's owner arranges for her to marry his son, he may no longer treat her as a slave girl, but he must treat her as his daughter. 


-- Exodus 21:7-11

patches
patches

@DonkeyHotay @randiebobandy  


Behold the religion of rape!


If a damsel that is a virgin be betrothed unto an husband, and a man find her in the city, and lie with her;

Then ye shall bring them both out unto the gate of that city, and ye shall stone them with stones that they die; the damsel, because she cried not, being in the city; and the man, because he hath humbled his neighbor's wife: so thou shalt put away evil from among you.

-- Deuteronomy 22:23-24


If a man happens to meet a virgin who is not pledged to be married and rapes her and they are discovered, he shall pay her father fifty shekels of silver. He must marry the young woman, for he has violated her. He can never divorce her as long as he lives.

-- Deuteronomy 22:28-29

DonkeyHotay
DonkeyHotay topcommenter

@ChazStevensGenius @glillo1965  ... unfortunately the smart Atheist chicks -- what few there are -- don't tend to be lookers.


God seemed to have made brains and beauty from the same elements, rendering them inversely proportional.



iceman121982
iceman121982

@glillo1965 You personally may not have shoved religion down anyone's throat, but Christians in that particular town have. As such, it's important to demonstrate to them the consequences of their actions.

If we are expected to listen to their prayers, then they should be forced to listen to the prayers of other faith groups, even satanists.

brucew
brucew

@glillo1965  Hey, pray all day, beat yourself with a stick , whack your head with a Bible till you bleed,  we really don't care.  Just keep it out of govt. please, and try to avoid spitting when you quote the bible.  

glillo1965
glillo1965

@ChazStevensGenius Quote: "Actually ... it was only a matter of time ... You keep shoving your religion down our throats ... don't be surprised someone puked on you."

First, I haven't shoved religion down anyone's throat. Next, I wasn't the least bit surprised when I seen this. Whats being done here is not out of any concern for equality. The real goal with this is to set up a condition, that will ultimately lead to the elimination of prayer, regardless which religion it is. Which is what an atheist would truly want.   

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