What Buzzfeed Got Wrong About Fort Lauderdale

Categories: WTFlorida

13. ...an amazingly tasty meal...

Have a drink at Blondies or enjoy a slice of Pittsburgh at Primanti Bros. while soaking up the rays steps from the beach!

I'm with you on Primanti Bros., even though that's more of a Pittsburgh thing than a Fort Lauderdale thing (though there is something intrinsically Fort Lauderdale about drunk, 4 a.m. pizza).

But did you really just suggest we go grab a drink at Dirty Blondes?

Instead of that, why don't you go high-five a jellyfish or grab a quick nap in the middle of A1A, because both of those things are like a million times smarter than stepping foot inside of Blondies.

Now you've just crossed the line from inaccurate to irresponsible. Shame on ya, Buzzfeed.

Ramos Keith, U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service
15. But no matter how you choose to get around Ft. Lauderdale, you'll probably run into some of these beauties:

You're likely to spot a manatee while you're just relaxing on a Fort Lauderdale beach or on a water taxi! As for wild peacocks, you'll find them on the street in the middle of downtown... (but shh, don't tell anyone -- it's one of the locals' best-kept secrets.)

No, Buzzfeed. Those are called Midwestern tourists, not manatees. That's just straight-up rude.

And those peacocks you see waddling around downtown are actually drunk FAU girls out for Brittany's birthday, but that's an easy mistake to make.

Photo by Josue Rivas
12. The kind of view that sets the perfect backdrop to an epic profile picture...

Sure, maybe you can ask one of those land manatees you were telling us about to take it for you.

Who comes to Fort Lauderdale for a profile picture? The best view of the city is most certainly not from behind a cell phone.

Unfortunately, you will no doubt see a selfie or two in Fort Lauderdale. And if you do encounter one, the Florida Fish & Wildlife Conservation Commission recommends you wave your hands in the air, try to make yourself appear larger, and scream as loud as you can.

Wait... maybe that's bears?

No. It's definitely selfies.

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Rachel R Levy Lewis
Rachel R Levy Lewis

Bravo, New Times. This is quite possibly some of the best journalism you have produced in a while (as I sit here eating my Karen's Salad from My Market Deli and pondering how I will kill the person who bought the rest of the egg potato salad).

Lindy Loo
Lindy Loo

Aimee Noelle funniest thing I've read in a long time. I'm cracking up at orientation.

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