What Buzzfeed Got Wrong About Fort Lauderdale
Buzzfeed is to lists what Bob is to barricades. And while the modern media juggernaut has certainly proven its knowledge on topics ranging from fierce llamas to awkward sleeping cats, it -- on occasion -- gets things wrong.
Photo by Sugax/Wikipedia Commons
Recently, it posted an article called "17 Reasons Why Ft. Lauderdale Is Paradise on Earth."
The article is actually some type of weird sponsored content by JetBlue Airways, but I'm going to take it to task anyway, because if you're going to masquerade as a real list, I'm going to treat you like one. That's why, on Halloween, every tiny zombie that comes to my door gets a crowbar to the temple.
So today, we set our sights on Buzzfeed and turn the dial to sassy.
Here are some reasons why seven reasons on Buzzfeed's 17 reasons why Fort Lauderdale is paradise on Earth are simply unreasonable.
Photo by Christina Mendenhall
2. Everyone gives Miami all the credit, but you totally have it going on.
Ft. Lauderdale is friendlier, beachier, and WAY more chill.
"Friendly" and "chill" fall right below "freezing" and "sober" on the list of adjectives that should not be used to describe Fort Lauderdale.
And I'll give this list the benefit of the doubt here and assume that "beachier" is some type of fancy French word I'm not aware of and not just made-up nonsense that sounds like something Paris Hilton would whisper in a perfume commercial.
If we're inventing adjectives to describe Florida's cities, then can I submit "murderier" for Lauderhill?
There are reasons why Fort Lauderdale is better than Miami. A drink won't cost you your eldest daughter, parking isn't determined by who has a bigger knife, and Justin Bieber won't run over your foot with a Ferrari.
You can do better than "beachier."