Someone, or Something, Is Cutting Cats in Half in Central Florida

Categories: Crime, WTFlorida

Luis García via Wikimedia Commons
It's one thing to lose your beloved cat. It's another to find Fluffy in a state of... uh... incompletion.

Up in Central Florida, one neighborhood is being rocked by a spree of dismembered animals. And you know how the old saying goes: One cat cut in half is just bad luck. Two cats cut in half, well, that's a sign of Satan worshipers urging on the zombie apocalypse the next time Mercury is in retrograde.

Lea Ellen DeWitt is the unfortunate cat owner. She lives in Lakeland, and according to WFLA, she recently found her cat cut in half.

"There was no hair, there was no blood, there were no guts," she told the station.


"It was just the front half of the cat."

Weirdly, the owner says that the cuts on the cat were not jagged, as if done by a wild animal, but clean, as if done by... surgical equipment? DeWitt says she is also missing two other felines, fates unknown.

Not all that weird on its own, but another family down the street also reported that it found its cat mutilated in the same way.

So, is cat mutilation a real thing? Or just a series of coincidences that people get all worked up about? In Florida, it happens pretty regularly.

Broward had a rash of cat killings around 2009, the handiwork of bored teens. Back in September 2011, two cats were found cut in half in Naples. In 2012, a cat was found in the same condition in Port Orange. Back in the late '80s, there was something of a mutilated cat boom in California, New Jersey, and Florida.

Sponsor Content

My Voice Nation Help
Dan K. Alexander
Dan K. Alexander

I know how they can catch this guy. Get a bunch of feral cats and leave them in a shopping center near where these cat carcasses are being found. Microchip the cats and stake the place out. Make this guy come to you.

Lauren Devine
Lauren Devine

Future serial killer...apprehend him soon...


The "subtle" humor used in writing this article is disgusting. Let's see how humorous you are if you find your child, parent or spouse "in a state of...uh..incompletion."  


lynneah, I was just about to write the exact same comment until I saw yours. This "newsletter" has a habit of doing things like this, and I, for one, have had enough of it. Between the joking tone of this story and the lament about what Obamacare could have been (it is what it was always intended to be), I am unsubscribing from this newsletter. They make me sick. They sound like they've been allowing some of those "bored teens" to write their stories for them. As someone, in different words, noted here, today's "bored teens" are tomorrow's serial killers.

Now Trending

Miami Concert Tickets

From the Vault