Five Reasons the Las Olas Gondola Is Keeping Romance Alive

Categories: The Lists

The golden gondolier.
2. Martha.
A ship is nothing without a captain. And if you're lucky enough to have Martha Beachem as your gondolier, you're with the best.

Here are some 100 percent true facts you should know about Martha (not in order of importance):

  • She is a master scuba dive instructor.
  • She has a vast and profound knowledge of Fort Lauderdale canals.
  • She knows several manatees by name.
  • She once -- in a single day -- had four different proposals happen on her gondola, proving that she is to romance what magnets are to other magnets.
  • She was once ranked Georgia's number-one racquetball player (This is true. OK, I lied about the manatees).
  • She loves what she does and will do anything (if it's legal) to make your gondola ride perfect.

Photo by George Martinez
1. No singing.
Is there anything worse than an off-key gondolier screaming bad opera at you? Yes. Genocide.

But I think we can all agree that sometimes you just don't want to be serenaded. Well, there's no need to worry about unwanted singing on the Las Olas Gondola. You may choose between vintage American ballads or sweet classical music, but no matter what you choose, your gondolier will keep his or her mouth shut.

However, if you request Ke$ha, you will be thrown overboard, where you'll be killed by manatees.

To book a ride on the Las Olas Gondola, call 800-277-1390 or visit

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