Five Things We Learned From the Miami Heat's Game 2 Win Over the Bobcats

Categories: Sports

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4. Rashard Lewis is BATBOY
Lewis played 14 minutes in Game 2 and has clearly become a huge part of the Heat rotation, at least in this series, and we're convinced Erik Spoelstra is doing this based on a dare.

Lewis managed four points in those 14 minutes, going 1-for-3 from the field.

Also, Lewis shoots the ball exactly like a bat would, if a bat played basketball.

3. LeBron James Is The Giant Realistic Flying Tiger
LeBron was a ferocious aggressive destroyer of worlds from the opening whistle in Game 2 and finished with 32 points on 11-for-17 shooting.

And then there was this insane play where he took one dribble to travel the length of half the court to dunk the ball.

2. Opposing Players Who Have No Answer for Stopping LeBron Need to Calm The Fuck Down

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Seriously. It's enough already with this crap.

If you can't stop LeBron from rocketing past your defense for a dunk or layup, maybe just deal with the fact that you can either die in the wake of his fiery fury or get the shit out of the way. Tackling him by the neck or shoving a stupid pointy elbow into his windpipe is not the way to play defense.

And when the hell are NBA officials going to start calling these things flagrant fouls?

Clotheslining a dude by crowbaring his clavicle with your forearm isn't acceptable against any other player. But for some reason, when it's LeBron having his collar bone mounted like a bull rider, it's somehow OK.

It's like someone has to literally chainsaw LeBron's head from his body and punt it into Biscayne Bay to maybe get a flagrant foul call against some of these dipshits.

Vengeance will righteously be inflicted on all those who continue to treat LeBron like one of those kick-boxing dummies. And the wrath will come down in the shape of a Udonis Haslem foot straight into your asshole. Sideways. So chill.


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1 comments
Anthony Wein
Anthony Wein

That the east is a joke and the heat are lucky they arent in the west. ..

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