4/20 News: Five Best Places to Get High in Broward County
4/20 is upon us, and that means two things: Jesus and marijuana. Because while thousands and thousands of the devout and faithful step into Churches to celebrate Easter and Jesus, thousands more will sink into bean bag chairs to celebrate cartoons and Cheez-Its.
Photo by Brandon Marshall
But getting high is like buying a house: location is everything. So if you do participate in the upcoming stoner Christmas (responsibly, safely, and always with a designated driver) here are the best places to do it.
5. Southwest Regional Landfill
Photo by Ropable via Wikipedia Commons
Shoot, it's hard being a flat state. All you can see is whatever is directly in front of you, and in Florida, that's usually some post-bath-salt crazy dude touching himself.
The best view in the city is on top of a big ass pile of trash. It's a trash mountain. Woah...
That's crazy. How do we know, like, the whole world isn't made of trash? What if that's where they've been putting it the whole time? Recycling was a government cover up and we're actually living on one big trash planet.
Uh oh. I think it's starting to kick in.
4. Canine Corner Dog Park
Photo by Dmitry Kalinin via Wikipedia Commons
Dogs, man. Like, what's up with them? How can a great dane and a chihuahua come from the same animal? And what's up with those teeth, bro? One minute they're all snuggly and stuff and then they yawn and you're like, woah! Why do you have murder tools in your mouth?
What are dogs anyway? Do we really know where they came from? I mean, can we prove that they're not aliens? And what's the deal with all the licking? Are you trying to taste me, homie?
A man's best friend? How do we know they're not just planning some worldwide attack? We did cut off their testicles. Wars have been started for, like, a lot less than that. I'm just supposed to trust your French bulldog? Sorry, dude. That wrinkly little face ain't fooling me.