Mug-Shot Monday: Warlocks on the Run

Categories: The Lists

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"Maybe Just Whistle."
"You know how to whistle, don't you?"

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Charge: Unlicensed Witchcraft
Incident Report: On regular evening patrol, officers encountered suspect in pine forest clearing. Suspect was chanting over boiling cauldron. After inspection, officers learned said cauldron contained blood, undetermined animal. Suspect told officers he was performing solstice ritual. Suspect produced witchcraft license. Documents were expired by six months. Officers advised suspect of his rights. Suspect expressed remorse, said he didn't realize the papers have already expired.

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Marital Bliss
"So to the wife, I'm like, 'Right, I'm going to skip out on my fantasy football draft just to come with you to the kid's parent- teacher conference. Sure, honey. Of course I'm going to do that.'"



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