LeBron James Drops 61 on Bobcats, Breaking Heat Franchise Record
But then along comes a night like Monday night, when LeBron James steps in to preserve the natural order of the universe by raining destruction down from the heavens onto the rest of the league merely because he can.
And holy shitfire, did he ever.
LeBron not only plowed through the Charlotte Bobcats like a devastating masked cyclone of fire and brimstone; he also shattered the all-time Miami Heat single-game scoring record by dropping 61 points on the night, sending Glen Rice's 19-year-old mark off with the Viking burial it so deserved.
LeBron didn't set out to obliterate the Heat record books or dismantle Michael Jordan's team as badly as he did.
But then the third quarter happened.
Cobradick was engaged.
And LeBron became the roaring tsunami of destruction that we've seen him become so many times before, as he went an insane 9-for-11 from the field and scored 25 points. All in one quarter.
At that point, it became a matter of hoping Erik Spoelstra wouldn't take him out of the game.
Yet when the Heat finished off the Bobcats in their 124-107 victory and the smoke cleared, there was nothing left but the wafting ashes of Charlotte's defense and the flickering flames of the scorched ground after LeBron dropped his 61 points on 22-for-33 shooting.
He also hit eight three pointers en route to his personal-best NBA game.
The Bobcats did their part in helping bring about their own destruction by trying to win.
Al Jefferson threw down 38 points, while Anthony Tolliver added 12 of his own.
Charlotte tried and almost succeeded in keeping things close. But that was its ultimate demise. A self-fulfilling prophecy. Its effort kept LeBron in the game, thus sealing its fate.
And when the rim seems like, as Spoelstra put it afterwards, "the ocean" and LeBron shifts into F5 tornado mode and unleashes his fireballs of destruction with brain-exploding efficiency, there's simply nothing a single person on Earth can do about it.
But, as it is with all things LeBron, people have to come out and try to shit all over the awesome.
People who are of a generation that grew up watching Michael Jordan dominate the league and now have their assholes clenched so tight in petrified fear that LeBron is actually eclipsing their beloved basketball icon that they're shitting diamonds.
Take Matt Haynes of Sporting News, who spewed these series of crap nuggets:
LeBron scores 60. Michael and Kobe did it five times each. Wilt did it 32 times. #calmdown— Matt Hayes (@Matt_HayesSN) March 4, 2014
Kobe scored 81. EIGHTY-ONE In 2009. And everyone is backflipping over 60.— Matt Hayes (@Matt_HayesSN) March 4, 2014
Look, he may end up top 3 all time. But seriously, perspective.— Matt Hayes (@Matt_HayesSN) March 4, 2014
Ah yes. Perspective.
Let's look at this with perspective.
Yes, LeBron did something that has been done before.
The major difference here, though, is his surgical efficiency. The sheer dominance of not only his impregnable physical prowess but also his deadly basketball IQ.
LeBron shot 66.7 percent from the floor Monday night. In a word: SICK.
He took jumpshots, hit twisting layups, knocked down three-point shots, and seemed to nail down whatever he felt like.
At one point, he sank eight-consecutive three-pointers.
Eight. In a row.
In addition to this, he grabbed seven rebounds and dished out five assists.
That's the complete package.
LeBron finishes with 61-7-5 on 66.7 percent shooting. Nobody has done this since '85-86. One of the most efficient games ever.— Couper Moorhead (@CoupNBA) March 4, 2014
The living embodiment of God's foot in your ass in basketball player form.
An absolute freak of nature.
To which Hayes and all the other haters and Keepers of the Hallowed MJ Gates then went all:
And even more impressive is that LeBron didn't have a single dunk as he ventured into the land of 61.
LeBron eradicates his enemies the hard way.
Because he fucking can.