The Nine South Florida Guys Who'll Actually Message You on OkCupid
Sam Howzit/Flikr Commons I spy a fanny pack!
3. The New Guy on the Block
He's new in town. That's the only reason he's on this stupid, degrading website. He's not looking to meet the next love of his life or a slam piece; he wants to meet people he can go out and eat pizza with at the end of the night. He's like a puppy dog wagging its tail at all the beaches and nightlife South Florida has to offer. He still uses his turn signals and waves at his neighbors. The humidity doesn't bother him yet. Today, he'll suggest going to some tourist trap bar on Fort Lauderdale Beach, but after eight weeks, he'll be just as depressed as the rest of us.
2. The Pseudo Feminist
He wants to be the Prince Charming to your Disney princess dreams. He tells you he understands women. That he has sisters and is close to his mom. He thinks treating a woman right is buying her dinner and expensive jewelry. He'll always open the door for you. He thinks because he wants a relationship, he is different form the rest. He says he wants to wait six dates until having sex. Then you throw in the towel in because you don't have time for six dates. No one on OkCupid has time for six dates.
1. Then there are people like this trolling whatever remains of your trust on the internet.
It's bleak out there.