The Nine South Florida Guys Who'll Actually Message You on OkCupid

Categories: The Lists

philosophicalbroo.jpg
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"Who ever loved that loved not at first sight?" -ur mom

7. The Philosophical Bro
He might be wearing a pastel-colored bro tank, salmon shorts, and boat shoes in his photos, but he has a photo with the Grand Canyon and a profound caption. According to his self-summary, he loves long walks on the beach and gazing at the night sky. You'd think he was going through an existential crisis by looking at his "I spend a lot of time thinking about" section, but then you realize he misquoted Socrates and spelled Nietzsche wrong. No one has time for that.

6. The Photo-Less Cupid
He will try to overcompensate for his lack of photos with seemingly cool interests and endearing profile-specific messages. His face is in none of his photos (back-of-head and zoomed-in-eyeball guy, I'm talking to you!) or he doesn't have a photo at all. You wonder if he's in the CIA or just ugly. He'll try to woo you with his words but this is the 21st century after all, and you'll stop replying once you realize this is a Lifetime movie in the making. He'll make an obscure reference about that time he saw Frank Sinatra live and he'll admit that he's old enough to get a shout out on a Smucker's jar. He has grandchildren your age.


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2 comments
BeautifulWoman
BeautifulWoman

and the next article "if guys weren't so creepy and tactless in their messages then women wouldn't ignore them"

HandsomeGentleman
HandsomeGentleman

how bout the next article. "the nine girls on okcupid that love getting messages to boost their self image and then ignore the men" 

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