Six People Not To Invite to Your Super Bowl Party
3. The double dipper
Photo by David Shankbone via Wikimedia Commons
This mother trucker was absent on the day we learned about germs, and now he's treating the dip like his personal property. Do you think Barbra spent $8 on organic avocados just so you can give everyone herpes?
Did I just see you do a quintuple dip? Is there even any chip left or are you just licking your fingers at this point? You're an animal! And when you're in your apartment all alone during the Winter Olympics, wondering why you weren't invited to Deb and Henry's male figure skating viewing party, I want you to think back to this moment. You make me sick. No, literally. You got me sick.
4. The analyst.
Please shut up! I don't care that teams who wore a certain color socks have only won the Super Bowl 13% of time. Just because you had an internship at ESPN for two months doesn't give you the right to talk over Erin Andrews.
If you know so much about football then why did you lose to everyone in your fantasy league? (Even your buddy's girlfriend who was only participating to try and salvage their dying relationship). I have eyes. And they tell me more about the game than you ever can.
5. The "I hope they both lose" guy.
First of all, it's impossible for both teams to lose, you moron. This isn't that silly European football. I'm sorry your precious little team got eliminated in the playoffs, but I think they'll be OK.
They made more money in that game than you'll make in a decade. Stop trash talking and watch the game. I'm pretty sure you're not going to hurt Peyton Manning's feelings by yelling at a plasma TV in a hummus stained shirt from Old Navy.