How Beach Place Can Stop Being a Nuisance

Categories: WTFlorida

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Beach Place in Fort Lauderdale has gone through some type of reverse metamorphosis since its birth in 1996. What was once an oceanfront butterfly has crawled back into its cocoon, where it has been for the past decade, regressing into a fat, belligerent, alcoholic caterpillar.

It's official: Beach Place is a nuisance. And I'm not just saying that. It's legally official.

Beach Place has gone from upscale eateries to places that specialize in getting you fucked up, from high-end retail stores to vendors selling cheap plastic and neon.

What exactly was it that turned Beach Place from a tourist destination to a certified nuisance? Probably some concoction of alcohol and bad company, but the transformation doesn't have to be permanent. Maybe, with a little elbow grease and a couple of gallons of penicillin, just maybe, Beach Place can return to its former glory.

Here are a few suggestions how.

Use cups.
Stand outside of Beach Place for an hour and you'll see an endless drunken parade of people carrying fish bowls, long plastic tubes, buckets, and pretty much everything except your traditional cup.

If you serve people drinks in bowls and buckets, don't be surprised when they act like animals.

Get better security.
It's no secret that the bouncers of Fort Lauderdale Beach are about as esteemed as the seagulls that poop on them.

With assaults being one of the major problems that led to the nuisance cap Beach Place now wears, security no doubt needs to be tighter.

The cops were called to Beach Place more than 600 times in the past six months. It's safe to assume a healthy chunk of those were for brawls.

Here's some advice. When the guy with no shirt and four tribal tattoos ups his bro ratio to three per sentence, it's time to stop serving him. When he starts trying to borrow a cigarette from the cardboard cutout of Dan Marino in the corner of the bar, it's time to escort him out.

Class it up.
Back in the day, Beach Place had a Banana Republic. Today the only banana you'll find in Beach Place is being used as a bong in the parking garage by a group of high school juniors.

You can't take a step in Beach Place without seeing something obnoxious written on a tank top.

Just because people visit Beach Place to party doesn't mean they want to feel like they're in a really bad music video. It doesn't have to always be spring break, Beach Place. Sometimes people just want to hang out. And that's hard to do when the classiest thing on the menu is called The Brain Punisher.

Get a Bar Rescue.
If ever there was a place in need of some tough love on reality television, it's Beach Place.

It's already happened once in Fort Lauderdale, though I'm not sure you could fit this big of a rescue into one half-hour episode.

But just in case you're listening, Beach Place, you can submit for a Bar Rescue here. Help us, Spike TV; you're our only hope.





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15 comments
Paul
Paul

This seems like a simple math problem, if you lower the rent to a reasonable rate, and lease the spaces to higher class establishments, the problem will go away. Fact is alcohol is a HUGE money maker, and people sitting for a 3-4 hour dinner is not.

frankd4
frankd4 topcommenter

.................ft liquordale is finding the TOURISTs paying for quiet enjoyment of the public beach can go elsewhere rather than be ripped-off and towed and robbed and face feloney battery from "security" protected by a phoney police force

and of course the Broward County Bus route #40 Galleria shepards a daily influx of criminal types at 11PM who vaporize by 6AM making their "living" off of drugs and robbery on the beach - kind of like the rio de janero tribes that scower the tourist laden beach areas then quickly split

Beach Place markets and promotes DIRTY BLONDEs type entertainment and now they have their constituents and themselves to blame for the low lifes it and they attract

family safe fun in the SUN has gone elsewhere replaced by the IGNORAMOUS INCOGNITOs and HAVE A NICE DAY FELONY BOUNCERs

st barts IF ITS EARLY in the morning is the only place remaining for the civilized respectful members of society for a great bowl of oatmeal and a fresh brewed coffee - OTHERWISE run for the hills elsewhere like BOCA and points NORTH = period

Fredddy
Fredddy

Same problem as Riverwalk.  

Expensive parking, and little reason to go...  if the parking was free with your dinner then maybe I would return.

  



James Eckels
James Eckels

Ask Alcee Hastings how this was an improvement over the Marlin Beach!

Casa Verde Arts Village
Casa Verde Arts Village

Arts Village - Pedestrianize the A1A between Castillo Street and Cortez Street, Widen the A1A by Birch Road side, satellite parking with shuttle service, find out who owns the most undesirable businesses and buy them out. More closed circuit cameras and operators, Effective banning orders for criminals known to prey on others at the beach. And a small police plaza

smdrpepper
smdrpepper

From the cramped parking, that you have to pay for even if you just want a Sonic burger, to the just epic cheesiness..that whole place needs an overhaul.  Last time I was there, most of the storefronts were empty.  No reason for anyone to go there unless they want something of questionable quality to eat.  Best idea to improve the place is to hit the reset button and get something worthwhile in there.  Even if its just a theater or something, it can only improve the place.

Oh, and now there is a better spot to get that Sonic burger finally in Fort Lauderdale.

Lenny Lebowitz
Lenny Lebowitz

Former glory ???? Oh like when the board health shut it down do to roach's

KennyPowersII
KennyPowersII topcommenter

It's not the place. It's the people.

Fredddy
Fredddy

WHO should buy them out?  

Taxpayers?  why? 

Fredddy
Fredddy

Due to roaches?  


-It was nice when it opened.... lulu's has a great view, as did hooters.  


but parking was not cheap... and took a long time to get in or out...   las olas or tarpon bend is better for me..

smdrpepper
smdrpepper

@Fredddy@smdrpepperOh yes, but I come originally from the Midwest so ALMOST grew up on it.  Before the new one opened, there was the one in West Palm, which was good, then the Beach Place which was HORRIBLE.  Screwed up the order and everything, just was not worth it.

The new one I havent hit yet is out on Commercial between University and Pine Island.  My friends have been there and love it, though it is packed because its so new.

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