Hollywood Beach Is the Best Place on Earth, and Here's Why

Categories: Listy Lists

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Hollywood Beach is the best place on Earth. It's not even close. When you're walking around Hollywood Beach, you're walking on sunshine.

Sure, there are other places in Broward and all parts in between. By why the hell even bother?

If hitting up the beach to lie out, take in some sun, grab a slice, and have a drink or two is something you find awesome, then the debate is over.

Need more specifics? Pfft. Fine. Here now are the reasons Hollywood Beach is the best place on Earth:

See also: Coral Springs Is the Best Neighborhood in Broward, and Here's Why

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via weather.com

10. The Weather, Bitches!

Look at that chart (click to enlarge). Sure, this is Florida, and it's gonna be warm and tropical pretty much all over the place. But if you've ever spent any time in Hollywood Beach, you know things are extra special tropical there. Maybe it's the sea breeze constantly wafting in from the ocean. Maybe it's the sand and sea. Maybe it's all the sexy. Whatever it is, the summers are hot, and the winters are mild at Hollywood Beach.


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9. It's the Only Place on Earth Where You Can Ride a Segway Without Looking Like a Complete Asshole.


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8. You Can Dance Under the Stars Here

The Hollywood Beach Theater is home to a stage where local bands play cover tunes and rock out in the open air. And it's here that you'll find the area's locals, gypsies, hippies, beach bums, and bar flies hanging out and dancing to a Springsteen hit. There's no pretense here. Just a place to get your crazy on and dance until you drop. Or until it's time to hit another bar. Or, you can sit and watch the band and get a glimpse of some seriously spacy folks getting their dance on.

See also: The Ten Best Hollywood Beach Restaurants and Bars to Visit Before Margaritaville Arrives

7. So. Many. Bars.

Seriously. Walk down Hollywood Beach and try not to find a bar. They're everywhere. And the booze is cheap and flows generously. Hollywood Beach is the perfect place to get properly sloshed while watching the waves lap onto the shore.

6. Getting Around Is Pretty Easy
Places like Fort Lauderdale Beach and South Beach are cool for cruising around narrow blocks and jammed-up traffic while people look at your car and judge you. Hey, that might be your thing, if you're that insecure and narcissistic. But Hollywood Beach is built around the simple concept that people just want to go to the beach and do beachy things. Arrive, park, get out, lie down. Boom. There's always parking to be found with meters or garages. And while the Margaritaville construction is something of a pain in the ass at the moment, it's only going to bring more parking spaces in the future. Basically, in Hollywood Beach, there are no overly congested streets littered with hipsters on their scooters or douchebags in their convertibles.

5. No Annoying Ass Trends or Pretense Here
South Beach is trendy! Fort Lauderdale is spring breaky! Ooh, look at me with my mojito making a duckface for a selfie in front of the Clevelander! Fuck trendy. Screw pretensions. You want trendy, go to the Sawgrass Mills Mall, hit up the Nordstrom rack, and buy yourself a pair of chinos. Otherwise, who gives a shit? You come to Hollywood Beach to enjoy a day at the beach, chill, and look at pretty girls in bikinis on rollerblades. Sand, sun, wind, alcohol, swimming. That's all that we're about.


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12 comments
amyouellette13
amyouellette13

I'm going to have to disagree about the music. I live in a condo on Hollywood Beach, and just this very minute had to close my windows and lose my beach breeze due to a "band" at a nearby establishment screaming a nightmarish rendition of Sweet Home Alabama. Really? What is this, Gulf Shores? Originally from Memphis, I guess I am more used to actual talented local musicians, but this is ridiculous. When at the beach, wouldn't you rather hear something... I don't know... beachy or tropical, maybe?

David Reyer
David Reyer

The author is obviously delusional and has never left FL

frankd4
frankd4 topcommenter

..........................i guess i can't deny that places like ocean alley and giorgios are likeable since i myself frequent them BUT only during the off-season = period

PARKing is a nightmare in that entire area during season as the CANADIENs over-run the place

i would NOT ever go into the water however knowing 40,ooo,ooo gallons of fecal matter waste water is discharged DAILY into the ocean there - no thanks to that

Nicholas Brandt
Nicholas Brandt

im going to agree to disagree! unless your a retard ad think this is the only place on earth

Michael Aaron Hoffman
Michael Aaron Hoffman

totally agree. let's hope this group of commissioners doesnt ruin it by selling out to all the high end builders.

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