Five Animals That Look Like Rick Scott
Physically, Gov. Rick Scott has been compared to many things: Lord Voldemort, a ladle full of Greek yogurt, a calcium-deficient fingernail.
Photo by Michele Eve Sandberg / Premier.gov.ru/Wikipedia Commons
And, sure, the dude looks like something that would pop out of a hole and bite you. But I'm not here to pick the low-hanging fruit. I'm not going to sit here and point out that this esteemed public servant looks like an evil wizard or a pencil.
No. I'm here to point out the five animals that look like Rick Scott.
See also: The Diary of Rick Scott's Hair
1. Bald Uakari
Photo by Kevin O'Connel/Wikipedia Commons
This is a Bald Uakari. I know it might not look like Ricky now, but send the governor on a two-week vacation to Turks and Caicos, then steal the sunscreen out of his carry-on before he boards the plane.
Upon his arrival home, put him side by side with the Bald Uakari and try to tell the difference between the two. I suspect you'd be halfway through greeting the governor before you realized you were shaking the hand of a monkey.
Things they have in common:
• A strong lower jaw capable of cracking hard nuts.
• Confronted with evidence that it may have made a poor decision, communicates with a loud, stabbing cry that sounds like, "Jobs! Jobs! Jobs! Jobs!"