How to Play The Thanksgiving Drinking Game
Let's face it, we love our family, but we don't always like them. That's why Thanksgiving can be tricky. There's only so many times we can listen to our Uncle's theory that George Zimmerman works for Obama before we feel the urge to slit our wrists with the long end of the wishbone.
Photo by Dinner Series / Flickr Commons
So how do you make it through three hours of heavy carbs and uncomfortable questions? You're going to need some way to distract yourself. And what better, more numbing entertainment is there than a drinking game?
Here are the rules:
You need one main drink in front of you. This can be either beer or wine (if desperate use mouthwash, fermented hummus, or apple juice with a splash of gasoline).
You must also have an accessible Jello shot hidden amongst the cranberry sauce, and one concealed flask that can either be hidden underneath the table, or strapped to the collar of a family pet.
The rest is simple: Drink when one of the following things happens:
Someone lies to Grandma
Three sips -- even if it was for her own good. Keep an eye out for someone catching an elbow to the ribs when they nearly reveal that Patrick's girlfriend's name is Fred.
Someone texts underneath the table
Find the Jello shot and slurp it up when this happens. And it will, because we live in a time where this is not only likely, but inevitable. Watch any younger cousins sitting at the table. They need to Instagram at least every thirty seconds or their throats start to close up.