Five Things the Fort Lauderdale Tea Party Taught Me

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Every Saturday since February 28, 2009, from 1 to 3 p.m., the Fort Lauderdale Tea Party has gathered on the northeast corner of Oakland Park Boulevard and North Federal Highway. And almost every Saturday, I have caught them out of the corner of my eye. It's usually just a quick glance, and I'm usually paying closer attention to a sandwich, so unless one of their signs says something about free sandwiches (which they unfortunately do not), I've never given them much thought.

This Saturday, I decided to put down the sandwich and get a better view. And, as any loyal eHarmony customer will tell you, things look a lot different when you go face to face. Here are five things I learned from the Fort Lauderdale Tea Party.

1. The Tea Party Doesn't Like Media

I empathize with zombies. I mean the old-school zombies. Not these new ones that can sprint and jump and operate heavy machinery and Skype with their zombie friends who are on vacation in Europe. No, the old-school ones that walk like your grandpa after he's had too much beef. Because those poor zombies are doomed to forever endure a life of meandering from fleeing person to fleeing person. And it's not fun to watch people run away from you. Sure, the zombies want to eat your brains, but perhaps if you treated them with kindness, they would only nibble on a thumb before passing along.

People aren't sprinting away from me, but as I get closer, there is a heightened sense of urgency added to their shuffle. And every time I approach someone, the look on their face makes me want to apologize. The Fort Lauderdale Tea Party doesn't trust the media. The two have a troubled relationship. The Fort Lauderdale Tea Party website has big red text on its homepage that reads, "Where's the main-stream-media? Are they liars or stupid? Or Both!" Which is kind of like saying, "Why don't you love me, you fat smelly idiot?!"

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17 comments
David627
David627

I wonder where the tea party was when bush was raping the country?

bsh2935
bsh2935

The Tea Party  wants a smaller and responsive government, smarter taxing, personal liberty, and leaders who follow the US Constitution.  That's what it is all about!        

Ron Kerr
Ron Kerr

Leon, Curt's just regurgitating what he is supposed to say. Some Obama supporters for some reason don't want to admit the country is in serious trouble and still want to blame someone who hasn't been in office for quite sometime. 2 out of 5 people approve of the job Obama is doing. I can't believe its that high? Can't argue with people who are going to support someone no matter what.

Leon Heflin
Leon Heflin

that's the only idea they have....and that's PRECISELY why they're against the establishment in the Republican party, because of neo cons like Bush, McCain and Romney. why would you assume that I watch FOX news? because I pointed out that your insults make no sense?

Curt Cole
Curt Cole

oh brother ... yes probably the most idiotic idea they have. george w spent more money on the war then president obama ever even thought about spending. quit watching faux news!

Leon Heflin
Leon Heflin

since when is getting government spending under control, an "idiotic idea"?....

Curt Cole
Curt Cole

these idiots embarrass the whole of broward county standing out there with their idiotic ideas & signs. would someone please educate them so they dont have to do this every saturday?

smdrpepper
smdrpepper topcommenter

View them as they really are, extremists.  They had a chance to run things and they failed miserably.  Now its time for them to go back to being those weird conspiracy ranters meandering around the streets that used to be locked up for being insane.

banepage
banepage

@David627 

the tea party started in response to Bush..Obama just escalated things to the extreme.

mre597
mre597

What are you some kind of bush lover?

Stevart
Stevart

@smdrpepper Failed nothing.   Elections are routinely stolen in the USA by illegals voting for their $$$.  Al Franken is an illegitimate Senator.  Wake up fool as soon you'll be a surf in your own nation.  BTW just look at the growing number of black males voting Republican.  Think perhaps they have a good reason?

ssuranie
ssuranie

@banepage @David627  No kidding, I remember all those protests from old white people when Bush wanted to invade Iraq...or when he pushed Medicare Part D through Congress using mafia methods....or when he decided to just pay for the wars through budget supplementals to the tune of $100B a year...or when, despite the start of the great recession and two wars he thought the country could use a tax break, because the way Americans should sacrifice in times of trouble is to go shopping...yep, the Tea Party sure woke up a lot of Americans back then...good times...

Southsider
Southsider

@Stevart First the illegals are took our jobs, then they took our guns back to Mexico, and now they are taking our elections.  Hide your kids hide your wives cause illegals are taking everything around here.  Must be a pretty shitty existence.  Top Commenter eh?  No job eh?  Florida eh?  SSDI eh?  


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