Five Things the Fort Lauderdale Tea Party Taught Me
Every Saturday since February 28, 2009, from 1 to 3 p.m., the Fort Lauderdale Tea Party has gathered on the northeast corner of Oakland Park Boulevard and North Federal Highway. And almost every Saturday, I have caught them out of the corner of my eye. It's usually just a quick glance, and I'm usually paying closer attention to a sandwich, so unless one of their signs says something about free sandwiches (which they unfortunately do not), I've never given them much thought.
This Saturday, I decided to put down the sandwich and get a better view. And, as any loyal eHarmony customer will tell you, things look a lot different when you go face to face. Here are five things I learned from the Fort Lauderdale Tea Party.
1. The Tea Party Doesn't Like Media
I empathize with zombies. I mean the old-school zombies. Not these new ones that can sprint and jump and operate heavy machinery and Skype with their zombie friends who are on vacation in Europe. No, the old-school ones that walk like your grandpa after he's had too much beef. Because those poor zombies are doomed to forever endure a life of meandering from fleeing person to fleeing person. And it's not fun to watch people run away from you. Sure, the zombies want to eat your brains, but perhaps if you treated them with kindness, they would only nibble on a thumb before passing along.
People aren't sprinting away from me, but as I get closer, there is a heightened sense of urgency added to their shuffle. And every time I approach someone, the look on their face makes me want to apologize. The Fort Lauderdale Tea Party doesn't trust the media. The two have a troubled relationship. The Fort Lauderdale Tea Party website has big red text on its homepage that reads, "Where's the main-stream-media? Are they liars or stupid? Or Both!" Which is kind of like saying, "Why don't you love me, you fat smelly idiot?!"