Coral Springs Is the Best Neighborhood in Broward, and Here's Why
Welcome to Coral Springs, the best neighborhood in Broward County. I'm not just saying that; I've lived the dream for 20-plus years. You might be saying to yourself, "Hey, I've been to Coral Springs -- you're crazy." Well, you would be right -- craaaaazy about my love for the city my parents moved our shivering Ohio asses to in the early '80s!
Coral Springs is one of the fastest-growing cities not just in South Florida but in the WORLD. Well, I don't have any data to back that up, but they just built a BJ's Brewhouse in like a month, so it's basically Tokyo if you ask me. In 1963, a couple of dudes almost called Coral Springs "Quartermore," probably because back in 1963 paying a quarter more for something meant it was freaking fantastic, but they settled on Coral Springs; then they invented Facebook. OK, fine, you saw the movie; I'm lying again. But seriously, even dogs in Coral Springs have a Facebook page, so they should get at least a mention in Social Network 2.
Below, you will find ten non-negotiable reasons Coral Springs is the best place to live in Broward, followed by Craigslist apartment ads, followed by my personal information so we can be best friends and get our families together for the holidays.
10. Technically, nothing is HERE, but if you need it, it's not far.
Remember that roommate who never chipped in for pizza but always ended up eating a full share? That's Coral Springs. Coral Springs set up shop in 1964 and decided none of that monkey business was happening up in there, no exceptions. I mean NONE. One city in America disallows McDonald's iconic golden arches sign, and that's Coral Springs, because a huge yellow "M" is filed under monkey business. If we want to go to the casino, we venture over 441, to a faraway land one minute away called "Coconut Creek." If we want to go to the beach, Deerfield Beach is five Outkast Aquemini songs away. Hell, I had to Google it. I was sure at least Butterfly World was in Coral Springs, but NOPE, that's technically Pompano. If you need to mail something, however, Coral Springs is the destination for you, with 27 FedEx and 23 UPS stores to choose from.
9. You really deal with traffic only once a year, and it's the talk of the town weeks prior, so you have plenty of advance notice if you choose to avoid it.
Miami traffic at 5 p.m. looks like a scene out of the early stages of a zombie apocalypse, Coral Springs at 5 p.m. looks like, well, Coral Springs at noon. There are 127,000 people in Coral Springs, and at times it seems like somehow only 12 of them have a car. There is traffic one day a year, the day the town closes Sample Road for a few hours for the Holiday Parade, and even that pisses everyone off.