Tim Tebow Offered $1 Million to Play in Russian Football League

IN MOTHER RUSSIA, WE PLAY WITH BEAR HEAD, NOT PIG SKIN. (photo via wikipedia commons)
So it's come down to this for Tim Tebow.

A Russian pro football team is reportedly offering the former Florida Gator star turned failed NFL experiment Tim Tebow $1 million for two games.

And Tebow is said to be interested.

Also, yes, there's such a thing as Russian pro football, apparently.

The semifinals of the American Football Championship of Russia are set to take place on September 28, and the owner of the Moscow Black Storm, Mikhail Zaltsman, says he has offered Tebow 1 million American dollars to come play in that game.

The Black Storm is set to face off against the Moscow Patriots. And Moscow's football team would like nothing better than to have Tebow lead them against Moscow's other football team.

Zaltsman says that he has spoken personally with Tebow and that the ex-Bronco/ex-Jet/ex-New England Patriot wants in on that hot Russian football action.

Tebow's agents, however, are not so enthused about the idea. They'd rather Timmy go out there and give the Russian team a motivational speech, which, in fairness, would probably be more effective for them than Tebow actually suiting up and throwing a football.

Zaltsman says he's all set to fly Tebow on over, if only his agents would stop meddling.

Tebow, who has failed to make his mark in the NFL as a quarterback, mainly because he sucks really bad at it, refuses to play any other position.

Many football experts have said Tebow would make an excellent fullback or even tight end, with his athletic ability and muscular build.

But Tebow refuses to not be a quarterback, despite the fact that he throws a football like a man throwing a balloon filled with piss.

If a deal can be reached, Tim Tebow would be the first American to play in the Russian league.

He'll also be the first American to get intercepted five times in a game, most likely.

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Enough! He played with the best run franchise in the modern era under a future Hall of Famer and he couldn't make the cut. All the time in college and with other teams and all the training and he couldn't make the cut and the histrionics around him still never end.

Media, it's time to stop being lazy and look for other stories. You've played with the shiny ball all that you can. If you want, there are other far more religious and actually decent QB's in the NFL today. There are some very interesting success stories and surprising disappointments and its only Week 2. Instead we are treated to a story about how few people came out for a rally to bring this player to town even though the owner is against it?!? How we can explore his options in Canada? Russia? Arena League? The far more religious Kurt Warner went through all of that and played in 2 Super Bowls (guiding very talent-poor teams) and before it all had to work bagging groceries in order to make ends meet to achieve that dream and we hear nothing about it. Sure Tebow is nice and Christian and has done charity but so are/do many other players and though some (very talented as well) have been cut too, we don't see this media hand-wringing.

Public, tell your editors and sports columnists to get back to the work of journalism and to forget this silliness. It's hard, but no lightning bolts will be forthcoming and you will actually hear about some new stories from the NFL.

The Week, please get on with things and move on. Don't worry, it's the NFL, another controversy or controversial player is just around the bend. You'll have plenty to write about. Let's just move on, OK?

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