Dolphins Fan Beats the Crap Out of Jets Fan With PVC Pipe

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A Miami Dolphins fan was arrested after he did what every Miami Dolphins fan dreams of but hardly ever actually acts on -- he beat the shit out of a Jets fan with a PVC pipe.

And before you judge the Fins fan, keep in mind that Jets fans are notorious for being obnoxious and insufferably arrogant about their team for no reason and are pretty much all-around despicable people, even though their team hasn't won anything since the Beatles were still together.

We're not saying we condone this kind of behavior. It's deplorable and awful. We're just pointing out some stuff about Jets fans.

Anyway...

According to a Port St. Lucie arrest affidavit, Joshua Grayson, 22, was watching football with a Jets fan on the morning of August 30.

Grayson, who told cops he's a huge Fins fan, says he and the other man began having an argument over which team is better.

The man made fun of the Dolphins, telling Grayson, "They lose all the time."

The Jets fan then reportedly poked Grayson in the forehead, according to the report.

And that's when the Jets fan learned all about... WHEN KEEPIN' IT REAL GOES WRONG...

Grayson retaliated by pushing the man, and then the man punched Grayson in the eye.

Grayson, not liking his team being made fun of, his forehead being poked, or his eye being punched, basically went berserk on the Jets fan.

Grayson hit the Jets fan in the face 15 times, grabbed him, and threw him head-first onto the driveway and into a recycling bin filled with glass bottles.

The Jets fan got up and rode off on his bicycle.

Later that night, the Jets fan apparently saw Grayson arguing with his girlfriend. The man told him to stop, and then the Dolphins fan and Jets fan picked up their slug-fest where they left off.

Grayson then reportedly showed up at the Jets fan's home at 4 a.m. later that night with a couple of other dudes, each carrying a PVC pipe.

According to the affidavit, they then hit the Jets fan with the PVC pipes.

When the cops showed up, Grayson told them, "Look, I have an anger problem and whooped his ass really bad."

Grayson also told cops he beat the crap out of the victim while nursing a broken ankle from a dirt-bike injury, which is probably more information than the cops needed, but whatever.

But he denied using PVC pipes to beat up the victim.

And, according to the report, since there were no independent witnesses, the statements they received were conflicting.

Grayson was arrested on an aggravated battery charge and taken to the St. Lucie County jail.

The Jets fan, meanwhile, was taken to the hospital to treat his injuries and also as a reminder that things never end well when keepin' it real goes wrong...

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3 comments
jcx1028
jcx1028

Mr. Joseph, I realize that your entire career is based upon being sort of an imitation Drew Magary, and saying edgy things is your goal, but that second paragraph was just awful. And not in a good way. Just painfully awkward and pointless and unfunny. Perhaps this is why you work at the Broward Palm Beach Gazette, or whatever the hell it's called.

overgiver123
overgiver123

Putting a disclaimer that you aren't condoning the man's actions doesn't change the rest of the article and it's tone of your article that he had it coming because he was a Jets fan. Apparently I am a deplorable person because of the sports team I support? I can't believe an editor would let this pass for "journalism" and be run on an actual newspaper's website.

sanpete4
sanpete4

@overgiver123 Precisely. If I'm a deplorable person simply because of the team I root for, what does that make you, a person who actually wrote a story using a poorly executed tongue in cheek tone that implied, "It's okay to beat the sh*t out of a Jet fan! They're annoying! They have it coming! We've all wanted to do it, this guy got to!".

I have seen the Jets in 8 stadiums, including yours, and have run into great, passionate, respectful fans most of the time. And I know how to watch my team play on the road... there's an etiquette (and a time to stop drinking). The only times I have encountered problems have been when opposing fans have exactly the lame justification that you just proffered in your asinine article... It's okay to mess with me, even if I have done nothing to deserve it, I'm a Jets fan! 

Read these articles. It's actual journalism though, so you might have to read it twice. Ask this Giant fan how funny it is to be beaten because of the team you root for. 

http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/lanow/2011/04/giants-fan-beaten-at-dodger-stadium-in-coma-identified-as-paramedic.html

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/mlb/news/20130613/bryan-stow-returns-dodger-stadium-giants-fan.ap/

And btw, pretty strong statement about the Jets and the Beatles considering the Dolphins haven't won a blessed thing since Paul McCartney was in Wings, 4 years later. 

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