18 Reasons Why Gators Fans Are the Worst

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Ah. Gators fans.

They smell. They're loud. They drink cheap beer. They love to wear jorts. They love mullets.

And they're set to invade Sun Life Stadium for the big showdown with the Hurricanes on Saturday afternoon like an orange STD, infecting every crevice of South Florida like a horde of toothless, insufferable zombies.

Members of the Gayterrr Naytion are the worst.

How bad are they?

Let us count the ways...

Here are 18 reasons why Gator fans are the absolute worst:

See also: The 17 Worst Things to Happen to the Miami Dolphins

Because of That Godawful Gator Chomp

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It's like a horde of troglodytic halfwits who don't know how to applaud properly. DERRR CHOMP CLAP.

Lookit! Ahm imitayten a gater'z mawth with mah armz!

*banjo plays*

Because They Act Like Imbeciles When They Win

It's never enough that the Gators win a game. Their fans have to YELL it at everyone within earshot between sips on moonshine and makeout sessions with their cousin that the Gators are the greatest football team in the history of everything.

Because They Act Like Imbeciles When They Lose

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In 1980, the Canes kicked a field goal to run up the score against UF. Gator fans proceeded to throw oranges at the Miami players and coaches on the sidelines. Because apparently, only the GATERZ are allowed to run up the score, like Steve Spurrier and Urban Meyer did EVERY FUCKING CHANCE THEY COULD. Or the infamous "Gator Flop" game against Miami in 1971.

Because 99.999% of Gator Fans Have No Idea What "The Gator Flop" Game Is...

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19 comments
Michelle Singer
Michelle Singer

This is just an angry Nole writer. I know your school sucks, bro. But you don't have to take it out on us.

Lynne Dear
Lynne Dear

thanks for reminding me... Need to get my Gator flag up in my Nashville neighborhood!

jpl4k3
jpl4k3

Wow, this "author" is a sack of shit. He should be embarrassed by publishing this trash, it makes me wonder if he even got accepted to ANY university. I myself am embarrassed to be a Hurricanes fan with the way this moron represents us.

KennyPowersII
KennyPowersII topcommenter

"Gayterrr Naytion". 

Really? Had to use a homophobe reference as a put down? Shame on you.

andyschein
andyschein

There's a reason this guy blogs for the Broward Palm Beach New Times and not the Sun Sentinel... He got rejected from UF

LoganB
LoganB

1.  I don't think Miami should be worried about STDs when it has the highest AIDS rate in the US.

2.  Thank God for animated GIFs right?  Otherwise it would have been pretty tough for you to actually WRITE an article.  This seems more like an illustrated slam book of why you're upset about receiving your UF rejection letter.

3.  Usually people number the reasons when they make numbered lists...

jkbane
jkbane

Classy article 

johnnie_zoolander
johnnie_zoolander

#19 Because they show up to the stadium... even when their team isn't playing

lish1981
lish1981

Talk about bitter. I would be too if I was a Cane fan

boom2323
boom2323

@lish1981 I have no idea why we would be bitter. UF has nothing on the UM legacy. You have no idea what you are talking about.

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