The 17 Worst Things to Happen to the Miami Dolphins

Categories: Sports

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The Miami Dolphins just recently lost their big-time free-agent acquisition, tight end Dustin Keller, to a horrific injury that tore the ACL, PCL, and MCL in his left knee.

It's just the latest in many horrific blows that have nut-punched this team for more than a decade.

Some would say the team is cursed. Snake-bitten, even.

Or maybe it's just that when The Suck rains, it pours.

See also: Don Shula Trolls Obama at White House Gathering

Either way, the Keller injury is just one in a long line of terrible things that have happened to this team without relenting.

Here are the 17 worst things to happen to the Dolphins since 1999:

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17. The New Logo
It's the most arbitrary thing this franchise has ever done (and this includes having Cleo Lemon as a starter at one point!). It completely wiped out a perfectly fine traditional logo and color scheme for a new "streamlined" logo and color scheme that literally NO ONE was clamoring for. In one fell swoop, the team went from a badass orange, teal, and white that harked back to the glory days of the '70s and '80s to a high school team that's trying to look like the Jacksonville Jaguars. And the logo went from a cool retro angry porpoise to something that looks like what a staffer at Sea World would wear on a polo.

16. The Day Pat White Almost Died
Supergenius Hall of Famer Bill Parcells spent a second-round pick on White, and his supergenius general manager, Jeff Ireland, said he would compete for the starting job the day after he was drafted. And then he played football and was nearly decapitated by Ike Taylor.

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15. Dave Wannstedt Was Actually Head Coach of This Team Once!
He really was!

No.

REALLY.


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4 comments
thevelvetgreen1
thevelvetgreen1

It's (not) amazing to read, that ONCE again someone thinks that Marino's retirement was a bad thing.  He should have gotten shelved when Jimmy came aboard.  In fact, ol'Danny-boy is the one person that stood between a great coach and a great team

jgcamp99
jgcamp99

You forgot to mention the Marlins have had more successes than the Dolphins. 2 WS titles is actually better than fixing 3 NBA titles ? First it was Shaq, then the 2 that LeBron won for this town of band wagoners & carpetbaggers. Hey, Parcells got the Phins to 11-5 and he was the saviour when the Cowboys let him go ?

FatHand
FatHand

Why is the re-designed logo on this list? I will never understand why people get so bent out of shape over designs and inanimate objects, like logos, uniforms, and home run sculptures. But agree with the rest of the list, especially 9-12.

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