Five Reasons the Miami Dolphins Won't Suck Against the Jaguars Tonight
Last week, against the Cowboys, the Fins looked as bad as a team that calls itself a professional football team could look.
And while we know watching this team is like having cat piss sprayed in your eyes, we do think they'll look better tonight.
And while we have no real concrete proof as to why we think they'll fare better against the Jaguars other than it's the Jaguars, here are five reasons why they won't totally suck:
Because The Law of Averages Says Ryan Tannehill's Shittiness Won't Last, Probably
Ryan Tannehill was mostly shitty against the Cowboys last week, and has put together some shitty practices all week. That's just too much shittiness for one man. So, we turn to the law of averages, which says that, at some point, it's enough already with all the shittiness for Ryan.
Plus, this time around, he'll have Mike Wallace and Brian Hartline to throw to, instead of that McBalls guy, or whatever his name is, and that other dude who will be driving a Rooms-To-Go delivery truck in a few weeks.