Meet George Achenbach: The Creepiest Escort in Palm Beach County

Categories: WTFlorida

achenbach.jpg
Because yes.
Gather 'round, ladies!

Do we have a chance of a lifetime. This just in to New Times HQ: There's a man with boyishly good looks who has a fetish for cop outfits and orange thongs, and he wants YOU (yes, you) to shoot photographs. Of him. Stripping. Naked. And he will pay you.

If you want to make this $35, however, time is of the essence. George Achenbach is currently querying various Miami strip clubs to see if there is any interest in his talents. Of which, there are many.

First, Achenbach wants to make something explicitly clear: He's very straight. So don't get any funny ideas, Casanova.

"Yes," he tells New Times. "I would need a female to film me. I have a camcorder to videotape me stripping. And to be honest with you, I love only women. When women look at me like a piece of meat, I love it. It's a win-win situation."

There's very little about this situation that doesn't involve winning.

First, there's this recent Craigslist ad:

georgecraigslist.jpg

Then there's so much more.

Though Achenbach has worked as a male stripper for a few months only, he's launched in that short time a sweeping and earnest online campaign to become West Palm Beach's preeminent escort. There have been exciting results, he says: "I've stripped at birthday parties. Sometimes I have sex with the women. But it depends. I only go for the women who keep themselves in good condition."

Why should Achenbach have to settle for any less? Hailing himself in advertisement after advertisement as "tall," "gorgeous," and "blond," he assures his suitors he's their "dream boy."

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7 comments
DianaDem
DianaDem

Ewww...He's gross. He looks like he has a beer belly and cellulite in his butt. No thanks.

Laina Todd
Laina Todd

O....M....G!!! HILARIOUS!!! Poor guy might be lookin' for new roomies shortly.

Tammy Risaliti
Tammy Risaliti

Welcome to "Palm Beach County"...This is a perfect representation of what really happens there!

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