Miami Heat Chokes Away Game One Against Spurs

The Miami Heat were off to a fast start in Game 1 of the NBA Finals. From the tip-off, they controlled the tempo, played strong defense, and actually hit open J's.

And then the fourth quarter happened.

And the Heat suddenly morphed into a bunch of assholes in sneakers.

And the Spurs' Tony Parker hit an impossible shot just as the shot clock expired.

And San Antonio took a 1-0 series lead.

Here's the rundown:

1. A Triple-Double Is Apparently Not Enough

LeBron James finished the night with 18 points, 18 rebounds, and 10 assists -- a triple double. And while that stat line pretty much face-explodes any other team in the NBA, against the Spurs, it's just not enough.

James was aggressive from the GO and continued to rocket-launch crisp passes to wide-open teammates and generally did that thing where he shows everyone that he's the best player on the planet.

And yet, while the first half was a clinic in efficiency and badassness, the second half was a sack of steaming cow shit.

LeBron took just seven field-goal attempts in the second half. The rest of the time, he was passing to teammates who, while hot in the first half, reverted back to shooting the basketball like it was a ziplock bag filled with piss.

The final period ended up being the worst fourth-quarter efficiency in these playoffs for the Heat. A three-possession stretch during which they turned the ball over sealed their Game 1 fate and punched us all in the collective dick.

The last player to record a triple-double in an NBA Finals loss and then go on to win the series was Larry Bird in 1986. So, there's that.

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