Five Reasons Charlie Crist Will Not Run For Governor

Categories: Politics

Citing a slew of insider folk who compose the "Charlie Crist camp," Politico recently unleashed one of the most unintentionally satirical articles of Washington reporting this side of a Joseph Heller novel.

According to "Democratic sources closely watching the race," and "operatives familiar with [Crist's] thinking" and "allies" and "sources in and outside the Crist camp" and "a third source familiar with Crist's thinking," Politico says Charlie Crist is all but certain to run for governor.

How they came to such a definitive answer: A few e-mails from some guys who claim to know Crist. And, pow! THE NEWS IS BORN.

Not quite.

Everyone and their mom has been saying Charlie Crist will run for governor. (Hell, even we did, writing a 5,500-word cover story on Crist's likely run.)

We got to know the guy pretty well. And it's unclear what "camp," in fact, Politico is referring to. Crist doesn't have a "camp." Crist's right hand man, Jim Greer, is in jail and the rest of the gang abandoned him years ago after he fled the Republican party in 2010.

Which brings us to our first reason Crist -- despite everything you've heard until now -- will not run for governor.

5. Charlie Crist is all alone
A funny thing happened when Charlie Crist decided he didn't want to be a Republican anymore in 2010 in the heat of the Republican primaries, becoming a moderate. His entire campaign collapsed and everyone jumped ship. His sister had to take over the bewildered effort. No one else would.

Though years have passed since, and Crist has lured some high-profile supporters -- like Barack Obama -- they aren't exactly the most loyal because Crist, himself, hasn't been loyal.

And today, what POLITICO refers to as the "Crist camp" -- doesn't, in fact, exist. Several months ago, I spoke with almost every person who came to know Crist well, and that was one of the most salient discoveries. Charlie Crist doesn't have a lot of friends -- and the ones he had, he's lost.

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Nan Rich running will guarantee  Scott gets re-elected.

Democrats are not dumb enough to have her run against anyone.  (  they can't make the carrie meek   mistake again....  can they?  )



Sorry Charlie, I am voting for the only true Democrat in the race. That's former state senator Nan Rich!!!


While he may not run, someone will and will take Governor Voldamort out, despite his scrambling to appear concerned about the regular people and not his rich cronies.


5. This is actually one of the reason that he will run. Charlie loves to be surrounded by ass-kissing flunkies. He will have plenty of them while is running for Governor (win or lose).

4. He can always go back to Morgan & Morgan if he loses.

3. A problem like this would probably cause most people to stay out of the spotlight. But Charlie isn't like most people. He has no shame, and will simple shrug this off as a jealous ex-husband.

2. The only thing that he stands for is himself. Another reason that he will run.

1. He is currently getting advice from political consultants. These consultants stand to make a lot of money from Crist's campaign if were to run. They are going to tell Crist exactly what he wants to hear about how he is a shoe-in.

A better title for this article would be "Five Reasons Charlie Crist SHOULD Not Run For Governor." Although he has not made a formal announcement, he is doing pretty much everything that a candidate would do who is planning to run. 

Mark Burnam
Mark Burnam

1) he doesn't know which party to register under lol 2) see #1



Kendrick Meeks was the Democratic Candidate running for Governor. Scott won because many democrats voted for the Republican turned Independent Crist. If Democrats state-wide  come out and vote for the only true Democrat in the race, Nan Rich will beat Scott. 

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