Five Florida Dads Who'll Make You Thankful for Yours on Father's Day

Categories: WTFlorida

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3. The Dad Whose 7-Year Old Told Cops, "Those Are My Daddy's Hoes"
Last June, police got a call that a man had beat and choked a woman he allegedly forced into prostitution.

When cops caught up with the man -- 34-year-old Robert Burton -- they pulled him over.

He had three women and a little kid riding with him in the vehicle at the time. The boy, a 7-year-old, was apparently Burton's and the woman he choked-out's son.

At one point, police asked the boy about the other two women in Burton's car, to which the boy replied, "Those are my daddy's hoes."

Awwwwwwww...

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2. The Dad That Left His Baby At The Counter of a Strip Club
Kenneth Rowe, 26, of Daytona, wanted to get his rocks off with some boobies in his face.

So he hit up local strip joint, Sharks Lounge.

But, turns out Rowe is the father of an 11-month-old baby. And it's kind of hard to enjoy yourself in a strip club with a pesky baby. So, he allegedly decided to leave his baby with the front clerk so he can then go inside and take part in all the strip pole-dancing festivities.

Problem solved!

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1. The Dad Who's Addicted to Coffee Enemas

Mike, a husband and father from St. Petersburg, doesn't drink coffee like the other overworked dads. He injects it into his ass nine times a day. His wife, Trina, joins him.

Mike says he favors a fine espresso grind, while Trina prefers it warm and thick.

"I feel like it's not as messy and drippy," she explains.

The couple explains that they they've each had around 100 coffee enemas a month -- a total of 6,000 in all -- since their addiction began two years ago.

They also claim that they're unable to function without it.

The couple is seeking help thanks to their teen son, who is probably scarred for life for having parents who sucks coffee up her butts.


Call your Dad this Sunday. And get him something more than a greeting card with a drawing of Garfield playing golf on it.


Follow Chris Joseph on Twitter





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