Miami Dolphins Might Move Out of Miami All the Way to... Palm Beach!

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Ah the Miami Dolphins.

They do everything exceptional.

Draft exceptionally... sign free agents exceptionally... score exceptionally... win exceptionally, and have exceptional ideas to make Super Bowl weekend exceptional.

And now they are excelling at pulling off the ole "You Didn't Give Us Want We Want and Now the Team Might Have to Relocate" maneuver with a veiled threat about moving the historic football franchise all the way ten miles north into Palm Beach County.

HOW WILL WE EVER GO TO SEE OUR BELOVED DOLPHINS NOW??

Ever since the Dolphins' bid for public funding to fix their stadium was shot down by the House, team head-honcho CEO Mike Dee has been making the rounds whining about it.

The go-to move here is, of course, to make vague assertions on how when the team can't stay in the city and moves to another town, it'll be all the politicians' fault.

"The Dolphins are one of the only franchises in the NFL that don't have a long-term lease with their community," Dee said last week. "At some point somebody's going to buy the franchise from Steve, and clearly the stadium is the first thing they would need to address."

The city that team owners and CEOs love to dangle out in people's faces when they don't get what they want has always been Los Angeles. It's perfect because L.A. is a big town, a sexy market, and the only show in town has been the Lakers.

But these are the Dolphins -- the franchise that replaced a perfectly good old-school logo with a picture of Shamu... and the franchise that thinks Gloria Estefan will bring people to games in droves because she owns a piece of the team... and the franchise that refuses to fire a general manager who has consistently failed to deliver anything more than a 7-9 season in five years.

Fuck L.A. WE'RE GOING TO MOVE THE TEAM TO PALM BEACH AND THEN EVERYONE WILL BE SORRY!

When asked Thursday about the possibility of moving to Palm Beach County, Dee was vague without dismissing the idea.

"We're open-minded to all long-term solutions," Dee told the Miami Herald at the news conference regarding the Super Bowl bid.

He later added: "You can't close the door on anything. I wouldn't say it's a priority to evaluate that and march down that road at this time, by any means, but the simple fact is we have to address a long-term issue with the venue. All ideas -- good, bad, indifferent -- should be considered."

Mayor of Palm Beach County, Steve Abrams, says he has not been approached by the team about moving into his town (because it's a veiled threat, you see). And, of course, the team isn't going anywhere.

But it's fun watching the higher-ups fumble literally everything they delve into with this team. If only because it's so damned entertaining

FINS UP!!

/crashes into train carrying gasoline canisters
//train derails into gas station

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19 comments
KennyPowersII
KennyPowersII topcommenter

Bull doze the stadium and build the country's largest corporate run prison for deportation detainees on the old site after the move to Palm Beach.

icculus17
icculus17 topcommenter

LA Clippers, LA Rams, etc etc etc

frankd4
frankd4 topcommenter

i just got a call from HIALEAH and they said "BUENO !" and that we can take the stadium and bring it to wherever else we want since they never got the promised benefits of it (i think they are confused about which stadium is involved)

frankd4
frankd4 topcommenter

i just got a call from BRAZIL who is buying MIAMI as their second home and they said "WHO CAREs"

frankd4
frankd4 topcommenter

i just got a call from CANADA and the visiting french-canadien tourists who carry this entire area during "the season" of September through April said "WHO CAREs ?"

frankd4
frankd4 topcommenter

the BOOK "i never played the game" by howard cosell talks of this issue from years ago perdicting it would pit one municipality against other municipalities in a downward financial spiral towards bankruptcy while the team owners would simply move on

plain and simple IF the MIAMI DOLPHINs were such a bonanza then how come MIAMI is broke ?

either the team IS a net community resource provider and the MIAMI government spends too much on other things OR it ISN'T such a good deal and MIAMI is broke because of these bad deals draining it's financial resources

municipalities are going broke in having to pay off the bonds principal and interest long after the team has abandoned BOTH the town and the stadium = MIAMI is yet to pay off the DEBT on the OLD MIAMI ARENA ! ! !

YES it's nice to have the DOLPHINs here BUT if we can no longer afford them then that's that

frankd4
frankd4 topcommenter

the GREEN BAY PACKERs never have these problems

John Pearson
John Pearson

They own there own stadium, they are not going anywhere.

George Attard
George Attard

Just pass right over Broward. Aint nobody got time for higher taxes.

FatHand
FatHand

Here's why I find this to be bullshit: Dolphins Stadium is one of like four or five privately owned stadiums in the NFL. So let's say LA (or Palm Beach Island) builds the Dolphins a stadium. What are they going to do with their old stadium? Sell it to the Strikers? I could be wrong, but it's hard to image that any new lease with a publicly owned stadium would give the Dolphins as favorable terms as they have with their own stadium, and that old stadium is a large part of the value of the team. To just throw the old stadium away makes zero sense.

Mr.44
Mr.44

Getting out of Miami would be the best move the fins have ever made.... Bring the american flag with you.

KennyPowersII
KennyPowersII topcommenter

@FatHand Tractor pulls baby. Tractor pulls. At least the Hurricanes will only have to worry about the leftover ruts.

FatHand
FatHand

The Heat did not own Miami Arena.

JoeRobbiesGhost
JoeRobbiesGhost

@ChazStevensGenius @FatHand   Who paid for the AAA?  Mikey? (hahaha)


This is a fickle town.  you win people go.  don't win, people have better things to do.

just because you build an enclosed stadium, doesn't mean they can make any money if the team doesn't win.  

-aka Marlins.    (talk about a bad deal for taxpayers!)



FatHand
FatHand

Ah, well they point I was trying to make was that it doesn't make economic sense for the Dolphins to leave Miami, even if Delray Beach built them a brand-spanking new football facility.

ChazStevensGenius
ChazStevensGenius

@FatHand Correct.

 But the taxpayer funded that fiasco -- obtensibly with the belief it would drive economic opportunities to that surrounding area.

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