FIU's Jason Leon Slays Giant Python Monster, Saves Humanity
When the mammoth snake creature, spawned in a time and land too unfathomable for words, began tightening its hold around Jason Leon's legs earlier this month in some back woods near Miami, he knew he had one chance.
Jason Leon had to kill this motherfucker.
And kill it good.
The demon wrapped around both of the 23-year-old Leon's legs, and his arm. He'd never seen anything quite like this Burmese Python: 18 feet long, 128 pounds. He grabbed a stick, and tried to wedge the monster off of him.
But it was no good. That day in Florida City, after Leon had spent hours rumbling around in an all-terrain vehicle, the python's grip got tighter and tighter.
A friend threw Leon a knife.
Leon brought about the knife. He grabbed the python's head. Then, in a victory for all of man, Leon lopped off its head, vanquishing the largest python ever recorded in Florida.
All of this talk of python killin' has gotten us all nostalgic. Makes us recall the good ol' days of the Burmese Python Hunt when man could simply take to the Everglades, knife or sharp object nestled in hand, and get down and dirty with the vermin.
It was a time when the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission abetted -- nay, encouraged -- the wanton extermination of the invasive species, decimating the natural fauna in the Everglades. And after Leon slaughtered the python, the commission did rejoice.
"Jason Leon's nighttime sighting and capture of a Burmese python of more than 18 feet in length is a notable accomplishment that set a Florida record," Kristen Sommers told the Sun Sentinel. "The FWC is grateful to him both for safely removing such a large Burmese python and for reporting its capture."