Squirrel Bravely Gave Its Life To Put A Stop to the FCAT

squirrel power line.jpg

One Tampa-area squirrel is being hailed as a hero by public school students today, probably.

On the first day of FCAT testing, the ChristSquirrel got fried on a live electrical power line, causing a massive morning power outage in three different schools, as well as to an additional 700 customers, according to Tampa Electric.

Every public school student in Florida, from 3rd grade to 10th grade, began the first round of FCAT testing today.

The controversial test, which critics say fails to help children learn about creativity and critical thinking, and instead has them being taught solely for the test, is designed to reward schools for their academic excellence depending on how their students fare. Students and teachers, critics contend, are overly stressed out during this time of year.

Hence, the squirrel's bravery in giving the ultimate sacrifice for Lavoy Exceptional Center, Jefferson High, and Roland Park magnet schools in Tampa at approximately 8:30 this morning.

According to TECO lineman Wayne McClellan, the poor little guy blew up when he hit the live power line. It was buried under the power pole where it fell after it was fried.

Unfortunately for the students, however, Tampa Electric workers are good at their jobs.

The power company techs restored power soon after, and the kids had to go ahead and take the test anyway.

Sadly, the squirrel becoming an exploding medium-rare furry meat sack was all for naught.

YOUR FIERY ELECTRIC DEATH WAS IN VAIN, O SQUIRREL. BUT IT SHALL NOT BE FORGOTTEN.

angry squirrel.jpg

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1 comments
Tee Dub
Tee Dub

all hail christsquirrel

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