Jeb Bush Speaks in Texas Today; Should He Change His Name?

Categories: Politics

Jeb Bush fist pump.jpg
Jeb! Bush is speaking in Texas on Wednesday.

Hillary Clinton is also slated to speak in Texas on Wednesday at a different event.

Also in Texas on Wednesday: 2016 Presidential Hopeful Speculation!

Both Hillary and Jeb! are expected to attend George W. Bush's Presidential Center on Thursday, but not before giving two separate speeches and make the media go bananas with 2016 Road to the White House talk.

For his part, Jeb! is slated to speak at a luncheon at the Rosewood Crescent where the ridiculously long titled "Restoring America's Promise: The Leadership Required and the Policy Changes That Are Needed" is being held.

And while he remains a top contender for the GOP nomination for 2016 and not only has the credentials and the temperament, he unfortunately has that name.

BUSH.

With the Republican Party trying desperately to reinvent itself by putting forth candidates with the same old talking points and harmful agendas that put the party in the shitter in the first place, Jeb! seems like just the guy to turn things around. He doesn't kowtow to members of the extreme right wacko fringe or Tea Party numbnuttery. And he seems to have the smarts to pull off the makeover.

But again. He's a Bush. Which probably means he's screwed.

Bush Fatigue is a thing, and little brother and his presidential dreams might feel the full brunt of it.

Former GOP Chairman Haley Barbour agrees that Jeb's résumé is all there. If only he was named something other than Bush.

"Jeb is an outstanding candidate," Barbour told Politico. "If you looked at his time in Florida, he was extremely popular personally, and his policies were extremely popular, and he took on some of the hard stuff... But I would put it this way -- if Jeb's last name was Brown instead of Bush, he'd probably be the frontrunner for the Republican nomination."

So there you have it.

As Jeb! prepares to make his speech on Wednesday and then appear at Big Bro's library on Thursday, all in a somewhat veiled attempt to put his name back into the national headlights, he might want to consider changing his name to Jeb Brown.

Or maybe buying himself a fake mustache and adapting a Cajun accent.

"Ay der padnah, I'ma Jeb Brown and I wan be yo gran beede presodaynt of dis 'ere You-nited Stay. I fight wit dem Caimon and lower deh taxes, I garoowntee!" he'd probably say in his speech announcing his presidency.

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4 comments
riverrat69
riverrat69 topcommenter

Even his mother says she's had enough of the Bushes.

riverrat69
riverrat69 topcommenter

The Jebster speaking in TexASS? What does this mean for the Perry-Scott bromance?

icculus17
icculus17

new rule, if you run for elected office you must use your birth name, not some dumb nickname your parents or college buddies gave you, John E. Bush

frankd4
frankd4 topcommenter

well his daughter would still be a druggie and his wife would still be an almost convicted felon ( she lied about the value ($250,000) of haute-couture dresses she was smuggling into america from spain on a tax duty form upon arrival in miami to EVADE taxes (how very tea-partyish to claim import duty taxes to be UNconstitutional ! )) and J E B ! 's new book out only a month is already being walked back on the immigration thing PLUS as the "education governor of florida" our elementary and secondary school systems are a disaster here as everyONE knows florida schools S U C K !

since he's got all that going for him what other name would he use ? 

UN - J E B  ?

formerly known as J E B  ?

B E J  ?

windsor ?

tudor ?

if his brother was SHRUB or dubbya or "the decider" how about ORANGE BLOSSOM ? or bubbya ? or "the UNdecider"

wait I got it .......................... LIPTON ? as in tea, get it ? tea as in tea party !

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